Proof is in the picture

As strange as it may seem, I have had a hard time realizing that I've lost 40 pounds. Sure, I see the number on the scale each (day) week, but I honestly haven't seen it in the mirror. When people tell me I look different, I wonder to myself how that's possible. But, that all changed today - it's finally beginning to sink in!

Losing weight slowly has made it hard for me to fully grasp how different I look because I see myself everyday. Sometimes, I'll walk past a mirror and catch a glimpse of a girl who looks like a smaller version of me, but when I turn to look closer, all I see is the same face that greeted me over the sink earlier in the day when I was brushing my teeth. This surprises those who don't see me everyday - to them, the change is drastic - but it's been so gradual that it's snuck up on me.

But, it turns out that I really, truly look different.

It finally sank in this afternoon when I was getting ready for Boobs Rock - my big breast cancer awareness festival. As a joke, I "slutted" up my t-shirt by tying it tightly around my waist and rolling it up a bit. But when Kevin showed me a picture of myself I was shocked. I expected to be ashamed by my usual rolls, but - um - they weren't there.

I first passed it off as a trick of the camera angle, but when I saw other photos from Boobs Rock - and I still looked half decent - things started shifting in my mind.

So, as an experiment, I went through all of the photos I've taken over the past year and pulled one from each month into a folder. It wasn't the best experiment because there were many different angles - and I really avoid full-body photos anyway.

It was when I accidentally went from a photo taken today to one taken a year ago, however, that I finally saw what everyone has been trying to tell me. And, um, wow. Can I say that? I look A LOT different!

I'm saving the before/after photo for the finale blog in September - but I needed this realization now. I needed to see how far I've come in order to head into the last lap of this journey. The next ten pounds may not make much of a difference visually, but seeing just how much I've changed has me pretty jazzed.