In search of motivation

When you embark on a weight-loss journey, there are two ways to go about it: 1) eat fewer calories and 2) burn extra calories. Often, people mix these two, but not always. In fact, studies have shown that working out isn't nearly as important as watching your food intake when you want to drop pounds.

When I started on the 50n50 path, I opted not to add exercise until I weighed less than 175 pounds. Because I have had bad knees most of my life, I didn't want to mess them up more by putting pressure on them. It was a good decision.

Enter the 3-Day training when I walked all over Kansas City - almost literally - and loved it, followed by training for my first 5k.  Then, I hit my goal weight and shifted my attention to maintenence for a couple of months and that was that.

Now I want to get back into losing weight and it is proving more difficult than I thought. I'm practicing most of the good habits I learned while losing 50 pounds - except one.

I don't exercise.

I hope it's just the weather that is causing this - maintenance began just as winter hit and it's been a doozy - but for some reason, I think there is more to blame.

This is a dark, dirty secret I have been hiding for a couple of months now and I'm ashamed of it. I ashamed that after all this time, I still can't get over how much I dislike physical activity. When it comes to exercise, I just can't seem to get over the hurdle of pain. I know it's going to hurt and I don't wanna feel it. I know I'm going to sweat, and I hate that sticky, icky feeling.

I have all the resources I need - access to the gym at school and a Groupon membership (30 visits in 90 days) to the Golds Gym in my 'hood. But I haven't activated either this year.

I'm supposed to be running a half marathon in SIX WEEKS. So, it's time to get my ass in gear, seriously. Realisitically, there is no way I'll be able to run the entire thing, but there is no reason I should walk to whole thing either.

My 3-Day training and 5k training came with motivation - curing cancer, but the half marathon isn't cause related. I need to find that spark. For some reason, it's easier for me to get off my butt for a cause like breast cancer, but not for my own sake.

This, my ladies, is one question to which I don't have the answer. But, I'm no longer full of excuses ... At least I'm heading in the right direction. I just gotta make sure I pick up the pace.

The Daily Special

Oklahoma Joe's ribs and sides

An epiphany has been slow in forming for me this weekend. But piece by piece, it has fallen into place.

First, it started with a Weight Watcher's-inspired Facebook status posted by my new friend Adina: "Don't give up what you want most for what you want in the moment."

Clearly, it's about cravings and instant gratification. Which is worth more? Satisfying a momentary urge or reaching that goal weight you've always dreamed of reaching? This is a battle I know well. And most times I've chosen correctly. But not lately.

In fact, I read this status while en route to Pittsburg, KS planning an exciting lunch of fried chicken and fried chicken. (A famous fried chicken rivalry exists down there between two restaurants a block from each other. After two years of living up here I thought I was finally getting my chance to weigh in - but neither chicken store opened until 4 and that was way too late. Looks like my chicken feed will have to wait.)

My dad and his girlfriend came to visit this weekend. In the two years I've lived up here, this was the first time they have come to see me. I wanted to show them a fun time and that meant lots of eateries. I tried my hardest to be good - but I didn't want to look like a prude and I wanted to enjoy myself too.

The first night they were here found us at Oklahoma Joe's - a big contender in "best KC barbecue" that happens to be two blocks from my house. At Oklahoma Joe's I ate one rib and small servings of the sides we ordered. I balanced it with a salad to fill me up. Breakfast the next morning was at my fave local breakfast chain (First Watch) saw me chomping on oatmeal with cranberries and half an English muffin slathered in mashed banana. So far, so good.

Since breakfast was practically at lunch time, we didn't eat a meal again until dinner at Jazz, a local Cajun restaurant. I shared boiled shrimp with my dad's girlfriend and a cup of gumbo. Oh, and bread pudding loaded with chocolate. Uh oh.

The next day was the great Chicken Food War so we grabbed a quick light breakfast at MacDonalds. I had their oatmeal and can happily report it is tasty!!! (Thanks for the 290-calorie, fiber-filled breakfast option Micky D's!) I was thrown for a loop when the chicken fight didn't happen, but Kevin took us to his favorite deli and I had a Turkey Dip (like a French Dip, but with turkey!), a few potato chips dipped in creamy Italian dressing (something Kevin said you have to do at this place), and a pickle. Then dinner saw us back in KC and at Hereford House, THE steakhouse in town. I ordered a salad and bowl of steak soup.

After so much rich food, I made breakfast for everyone at my house today and went a little overboard with blueberry oatmeal muffins and an awesome breakfast pizza. I went light for lunch and dinner - salad and soup, respectively - but still don't have high hopes for the scale this week. I blame the steak soup, even if I only ate half of it! The salad packed a few surprises too ... as most do at restaurants like that. Oh and there was that java mocha chiller I split with Kevin after an ill-fated Sonic stop before we left Pittsburg (My life was so much easier before I knew those things existed!).

ARGH. Enter my epiphany.

There are times when you should to let yourself indulge in the moment in order to add to the special moments that make up a lifetime. For me, the chicken fight in Pittsburg, KS - a town where Kevin went to college and worked his first professional jobs - is one of those moments. He has a favorite chicken place and I want one too.

That being said, eating ribs at the barbecue place down from my house is NOT one of life's special moments, not any more. I can have Oklahome Joe's barbecue any time I want. I choose not to get it often because it's not high on my list of priorities.

When tourists come to visit, I always take them for KC barbecue (to help fulfill one of their moments). Being there with visitors, however, doesn't mean I automatically get a free pass to eat horribly. There is no gun to my back and no one saying it's the only chance I'll have to eat Joe's ribs. There is a salad with grilled chicken breast on the menu. I've never tried it. Maybe it's going to be the world's great chicken breast and salad. It's high time I find out, don't you think?

Splurging for special occasions is one thing - but it's important to know when you are just finding excuses to splurge and the "special" is nowhere in existence. Daily specials are the enemy.

It's tasty, but so is KFC. Doesn't mean it's ok to order that double down thing and call it a "special occasion" because it's the first 40-degree day we've had in weeks.

When it comes to food and letting yourself indulge, it's important to stop and look at the moment. Going to Oklahoma Joe's (and Hereford House for steak soup too) is not something all that "special" to me anymore. If it truly is a unique experience, then by all means, eat two drumsticks and pick your favorite! But if it's something you can have tomorrow too, maybe it's best to put it off. I guarantee it will be more special next time.

20 is the new 50

I told you I have a new goal weight in mind, right?

Well, here it is ...

125!!!

That's right. My Final Goal Weight is 125 pounds. Now, before you start thinking that's extreme, let me explain.

First, the healthy BMI range for my height is 107-145. So, anything over 145 is unhealthy. You've heard me talk about that before. Hovering near 145 is too close to unhealthy for me. My new goal, 125 is smack in the middle. That leaves some wiggle room for holidays, monthly visitors and fun night's out every now and then. It means I won't be scared after every splurge that the scale will call me "overweight" again. When that happens (and it has a few times lately), it really upsets me.

When Helen Fielding wrote Bridget Jones' Diary, I was excited to read about a woman who battled with her weight everyday. I read one chapter and threw the book across the room. Why? Because she was 140 pounds and complained about it. I couldn't relate. But now I can. I look in the mirror and see myself at 145 and still see many problem areas that needs work. Don't get me wrong, I love the way I look - I am more amazed at the changes in my body every day. But it's little stuff here and there. My tummy needs some definition, my gargantuan calves need to be evaporated, and my thighs need serious attention.

When I first started thinking about it, 125 seemed unattainable and scary. But that was the fat girl inside me talking. The one who is jealous of girls who are born skinny and barely have to work to stay that way. The one who used to call 125 "too skinny" out of fear and scoff at girls that weight. It was as though convincing others that 125 was too skinny would make my 195 more acceptable. Well, that's not me anymore. My inner fat girl no longer controls me!

So, I'm going to take on this Final Goal Weight (FGW) and will weigh 125 by June 29 - 20 weeks from this week's Weigh Day.

It looks like 20 is the new 50. Let 20 in 20 begin!!!

Lavash lifestyle

Will the Hungry Girl inspiration never end???

Today's Hungry Girl email included a link to a "recipe" for Lisa's Crispy Lavash Squares with HG Hot Couple Dip. 
 

The link then directed readers to a website that sells the lavash - a 50-calorie flat bread that when baked longer turns chip or cracker-like. (Note: Mine looks nothing like hers. But I am fascinated by the idea of using it as a lasagna noodle substitute so I have to figure it out)

Of course, when I saw it was $3.50 a package, I decided to go on a recipe hunt. So. Super. Easy. I tweaked the recipe a smidge and created this lovely little gem. I need to point out that I have never actually had lavash so I have no idea if I made it "right." But I have had chips and pita crisps and this is an awesome way to substitute those snack foods.

The recipe make fifteen 100-calorie servings. I broke mine into pieces and sealed them in Ziploc baggies. Voila! My very own 100-calorie snack packs.

Also, I tried a few "flavors" by using cinnamon and sugar on a few and poppy seeds on others. I forgot about the sesame seeds in the freezer or I would have used them too. Next time. Sadly, I also have a powdered nacho cheese popcorn flavoring that I'm tempted to use too! I might even try to make then into itty-bitty crackers next time. Fun!

I only used 2/3 of the dough and froze the rest. Too bad I didn't know about this before the Stupor Bowl. That would have mitigate a couple of damages.

Tips and tricks straight from Hungry Girl

Food, fun and faux-frying: Just another Girls Night In
Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien is the first to tell you she isn't a nutritionist or a dietician. She holds no degrees in foodology and she doesn't pretend to be an expert. She is just a girl, like you and me.

"I am just hungry," she said. "But that doesn't make the information that I have to give any less important." And she's right.

About 900 women (and a few men) gathered in Crown Center last night to enjoy waist-friendly food and heart-friendly sisterhood at the 6th annual "Girls Night In" fundraiser for the University of Kansas Hospital's Change of Heart program. Hungry Girl was the main speaker for the event.

Lillien's big schtick is the idea of swaps. She takes normal foods and figures out ways to make them healthy. Take her "faux-frying" method, for example.

Craving onions rings or mozzarella sticks? Well, Lillien has your solution. Take Fiber One cereal and grind it in the blender. Roll your onion rings (or low-fat mozzarella sticks) in egg substitute, then in the Fiber One crumbs, then back in the egg sub and once again in the cereal. Bake. And enjoy. It's that simple. And filling.

At last night's dinner she told the 900 women gathered about her life living with a yoyo dieting mother and what spurred her into creating Hungry Girl. Then, she handed out a few tips for everyone. It was apparent there were many in the audience who had never heard her message, but by the night's end, her books were selling like full-fat hot cakes!


Tips from Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien:
1. Avoid Trigger Foods
For Lillien this means potato chips. She knows she can't stop eating them, so she stopped buying them.

"I cannot be trusted around crunchy salted snacks," she said. "If they are in my house, I eat the entire bag. So what do I do? I don't keep the chips in my house."

2. Set Attainable Goals.
"You need to set yourself up for success," Lillien said. "Who likes to fail? Anybody? You want to set goals that are totally achievable."
This includes setting goals involving losing weigh too quickly or not wanting to do the work needed to reach your goals.
"You've got to do the work," she said.

3. Don't Make Excuses.
It's about planning ahead and holding yourself accountable. When you know you're going out to dinner, Lillien suggests looking at the restaurant's menu online before you get there. That way you can make an informed decision.

Lillien also cautioned about punishing yourself for bad decisions.

"You're only as guilty as the last meal you ate," Lillien said before explaining that one bad meal shouldn't throw you off your plan. Just fix it next time.

4. Move. Yes, Move!
Lillien suggests finding enjoyable activities in your area, such as hiking with friends becase small changes can make big differences.

5. Write it Down.
"This is not an excuse to buy a cute little journal," Lillien said. It's about not lying to yourself. She stressed the importance of writing down everything saying it can be a shock to see just how much you eat in a day. Little bites here and there add up, she said. By writing everything down you are more aware of what you are doing.

6. Avoid Fad Diets.
Lillien said fad diets are not helpful for the long haul because they don't teach good habits. Weight Watchers, however, is not a fad diet, according to Lillien and does teach good habits.


7. Don't Beat Yourself Up.
"Don't feel bad about bad choices. Just change," Lillien said. This message, in fact, we repeated several time throughout her speech.

Lillien talked about living by the 80/20 rule because it allows you to enjoy life without beating yourself up.

"Food should be celebrated and enjoyed - 20 percent of the time," she said. She used the example of her stay in Kansas City. Since it was her first, she of course went for barbecue within an hour of her flight landing. She ate ribs, cheesey bread and carrot cake (which she said should be illegal, it was so good) at Jack Stack. And didn't feel guilty about it. Though she went back to her hotel and hopped right on the treadmill in snow boots because she'd forgotten sneakers.

Lillien also passed on a few small tricks to the audience.

"I'm a total volume eater," she said while explaining a tip for oatmeal.

One cup servings made her "sad" so she figured out that doubling the liquid requested and cooking the oats for twice as long will yield twice as much - for the same calories. She uses a mix of water and almond milk in her oatmeal.

What about breakfasts on the go? Put egg substitute and a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese in a mug, pop it int he microwave and voila! A very protein-full breakfast.

Finally, Lillien introduced "Ate" of her favorite food staples.

1. House Foods Tofu Shirataki Noodle Substitute
"A gluten-free, all-natural swap that's great in pasta recipes, soups and stir-frys."
2. Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss Cheese Wedges
"Super-creamy, delicious, and low in fat. Use it as a cream cheese swap in recipes, to make cheese sauces, in sandwiches, etc."
3. Blue Diamond Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze
"Great in cereal (hot or cold), smoothies, lattes, recipes, etc."
4. Canned Pure Pumpkin
"With 40 calories per half cup, it's low in fat and high in fiber. Use it in ways you never though possible! ... Don't confuse it with pumpkin pie filling."
5. Vitalicious VitaTops
"The BEST chocolate-craving killer EVER."
6. Fat-Free Greek Yogurt
"Super-creamy and packed with protein, a 6-oz. container has just 90 calories. Great in recipes and as a snack."
7. Fiber One Original Bran Cereal
"Secret weapon for 'faux-frying' ANYTHING."
8. Butternut Squash
"America's best kept secret. Why? It's a GREAT potato swap with half the calories of potatoes."

Natalie Notes: I have tried everything on her list but the VitaTops. The noodles were ok, but I couldn't get past their smell or the fact that they were floating in weird liquid (sure you drain it, but they are slimy). I prefer to just use spaghetti squash. I love Laughing Cow so much it makes me sick. Sad face. I am a HUGE Almond Breeze fan. And we know my love of pureed pumpkin. VitaTops are available at Target so I'll check them out soon. I think they are muffin tops loaded with fiber. I can't handle the thick texture of Greek yogurt straight - it sets my gag reflex off, but I plan to try it in baking soon. Fiber One is expensive, but it works well for faux-frying, it's true. And butternut squash is super tasty. I don't use it as a swap though, I enjoy it for the flavors it means to bring to my dishes.

I Heart Hungry Girl

Me with Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien

Most nights that include a coat check tend to be pretty amazing but tonight also had cocktails, calorie-friendly munchies, and Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien - one of my favorite low-fat foodies - so it was amazing with sugar on top!

The evening started with a Nervous Natalie arriving at the Hyatt Regency Crown Center not knowing what to expect. I entered the revolving doors and was bombarded by women dressed in varying shades of red (in honor of heart health month), a red carpet and flash bulbs. Yes, flash bulbs. They really created quite a scene for this Girls Night In fundraiser!

I scoped out the scene, checked my coat (I rarely go to places with a coat check, so when the option is there, I'm all about it!) and then bypassed the cocktail bar (hello wasted calories!) and went to find my table.

It was at Table 66 that I met some lovely ladies from my area who all shared a love of Hungry Girl, food, and safe ways to eat the foods we love. We talked Weight Watchers and our fave HG recipes. We discussed swaps and talked about how much weight we'd lost. I was pretty much in heaven. The loved the idea of grilled cactus. And you know all the nutrition stats I bore you with? They ate it up like - well - like chocolate cake!

Then, suddenly, there she was! She just dropped by the table to say hi and thank us for being fans. Thank us? Are you kidding me? We couldn't stop thanking her! The entire evening was full of an energy I can't describe. I was on the verge of tears most of, thrilled to be one of the few who was lucky enough to attend. "They" said she received more than a thousand emails from people hoping to win the contest - and I was one of the lucky 10. I still can't believe.

I feel like I have been rewarded for my will power and diligence over the past year. I just feel so lucky and blessed to have been part of it!!!

We were treated to a 3-course meal made from the Hungry Girl books.

First was her Lucky Four-Leaf Salad with Feta and Apples and Cheesy-Good Cornbread Muffins (not as good as mine, but not bad).

Then, it was on to Glaze-of-Sunshine Apricot Chicken, BBQ Mango Tilapia, Too-EZ Mac 'n Cheese (holy awesome, Batman!) and Mostly Roasted Veggie Explosion.

Finally, we were served to mini portions of Holy Moly Cannoli Cones, Blask Forest Fillo-Cups (BFFs), and S'mores Krispymello Treat (HELLO AMAZING).

After dinner we were treated to Hungry Girl herself and got to hear her talk about her motivations and hear some first-hand tips. I took notes for y'all and am going to blog about those in the morning so that they don't get lost in this long post.

One of my favorite parts of the evening was after I told the women at the table about this blog. They all pulled out their cell phones and typed in our URL and checked out 50n50. Yay! Then, in a later conversation with one my fellow award-winners, she said "How much did you lose?" After I told her, she shook her head and said, "You don't look like you were ever overweight. You look like you've always been a petite girl."

What a great night!!!

Who gets to meet Hungry Girl? This girl!

Lisa Lillien

OMG - I can't believe I haven't posted this yet ...

I GET TO SEE HUNGRY GIRL TOMORROW NIGHT- LIVE!!!

I won a Facebook contest for a free ticket to Girl's Night In, a charity event to raise money for women's heart health. This isn't just a book signing, Ladies, this is an EVENT. She bought two tables (at $1250 each!) and gave tickets to select Facebook fans. I don't know if I will get to meet her, but I hope I get the chance to thank her for how much I've learned from her books this past year.

When I set out on the 50n50 journey, Hungry Girl was one of the books I bought to jump start my new lifestyle. I loved the idea of making the usual suspects into healthy dishes, you know? In fact, Thanksgiving 2009 was pretty much ALL from the Hungry Girl book!

I get her emails each day and just love her fun style of celebrating food (and butternut squash!).She now has a television show that airs on teh Cooking Channel each Saturday, but I haven't gotten to watch because I don't have cable. My mom reports that it's a great show, however - and I have no doubt that's the case.

I have evolved from religiously using the recipes in Ms. Lillien's books because so many of the recipes take a lot of work to recreate bad foods in a good way (and a lot of processed products that I rarely buy). Still, I fall back to them when I just want "normal." I absolutely love her Kickin' Chicken Pot Pie recipe and Wayne's Pumpkin Smash, as we know. Her Egg Nog recipe was pretty satisfying this past holiday season too (No eggs? For real?!?)!

I am so excited I can hardly wait. I mean hello, it's not everyday you get to meet someone who was on Good Morning America (this morning!), is it?

Stupor Bowl XL

Nothing in this photo is innocent! Well, maybe the empty bowl ...

I had grand plans for last night's Super Bowl celebration. They involved a low key evening spent at home eating wings and a healthy baked version of cheese curds (we rooted for the Packers). I scrounged up enough money (literally in change) to buy some beer and that was where I'd planned on splurging in calories.

I tracked my calories until 3:30 and I was at 1241. Then, they opened a bunch of free chocolate at work. Uh oh.

And then Kevin went to the store for dog food and bought the fixins for chips and queso.

And then I lost my mind. And drank 2 beers.

Forget the beer, I was in a drunken stupor of epic proportions - totally wasted on Velveeta and Rotel.

Then, I craved something sweet and almost opened a small box of coca puffs, but reason prevailed and I went for the orange instead. Honestly, what is wrong with me?

I KNOW BETTER! More than a year of healthy eating and the past two weeks have seen me throwing it all away. Ugh.

I'm not one for drastic dieting, but after all the junk I ate last night, today I'm going au natural. It's Meatless Monday so it won't be difficult. Nothing will be processed today.

Breakfast was a broiled grapefruit half sprinkled with cinnamon and an apple.

Lunch will be mashed avocado and chopped peanuts on a bed of lettuce with a side of carrots and an orange.

Dinner is pinto beans (that I made myself, not from a can) and homemade corn bread. There might be a little processing in the ingredients for the corn bread, but that's small potatoes after the debacle of last night. And dessert will be baked apples. How's that for getting your 8 servings of fruits and veggies a day?

Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm off to drink a glass of milk to help my body get rid of the remnants of Stupor Bowl XL.

The Blizzard of Oz

Snow-M-G, people. I have officially survived my first blizzard!

Kevin had to go to work but got off early and all was fine until he got to my 'hood. Then he got stuck and there was a lot of pushing and digging and crying and screaming and losing of cell phone and pushing other people's cars and it was NOT a relaxing snow day at all.

Once it all settled, Wednesday dawned into the digging-out day. Since Tuesday saw us get an official 10 inches of crazy blowing snow - that developed into drifts more than 2-feet high. I shoveled sidewalks (helping neighbors and my weight loss at the same time!) for an hour and a half. Add in the cars I pushed up and down streets and the mile-long snow hike we had to take to get something for Kevin's broken car and you have quite a day of working out!

According to Sparkpeople.com, I burned 850 calories by shoveling 75 minutes and walking in the snow for 45 mins. That doesn't even take into account the car-pushing!

We ended the day by snuggling on the couch with a dvd of How I Met Your Mother and Chinese food. I ordered Kung Pao Shrimp - which is 350 calories for a one-cup serving. Then, I finished dinner with a hearty helping of Banana Snow Cream - made from the very snow outside.

Banana Snow Cream

1/2 banana
1/2 gallon fresh snow
1 cup Almond Milk
1/2 cup baking Splenda

Mash the banana in a big metal mixing bowl. Add in snow and Splenda. Pour Almond milk over snow and mix it all together. It may take a few minutes, but you want to stir it until everything is incorporated and you reach a consistency you like.

If it's melted a bit, just stick the bowl outside for a bit. Then, give it one more stir and enjoy!

You can edit this recipe by using any fruit. Or half a tablespoon of vanilla (I used rum the first time!). Top it with chocolate and it's even yummier. Oh the possibilities ...

Serves 2. Calories: 47.1; Total Fat: 1.7 g; Cholesterol: 0.0 mg; Sodium: 90.3 mg; Total Carbs: 15.1 g; Dietary Fiber: 1.2 g; Protein: 0.8 g

Why the weight gain???

I'm not happy. Angry might even be the best word to describe how I feel towards myself right now.

I weighed in at 146.6 today - a gain of 4 pounds in one week!

What the hell?

I don't know what's happened. Last week I was feeling good and was on track with my new weight loss goal. But then Kevin made cookies and I ate a few - but they weren't full of fat because I taught him to use applesauce instead of butter. And then there was cake at work - and a couple of awful days working short-staffed. And then my girl time came Sunday. And with the snow days there was some snow ice cream and a lot of alcohol. And, as I am VERY familiar with my body functions by now, there was a lot going in and the usual didn't come out.

Is my willpower gone? I mean, wow. Looking at that list of foods now has me super depressed instead of angry. Add in that I am behind in my training for the half-marathon and I'm feeling pretty worthless in this moment (as I blog from bed, wrapped in flannel sheets and dogs, sipping coffee and homemade biscotti for breakfast). Yeah. This isn't good.

To gain 4 pounds, I had to consume 14,000 more than I burned each day. My resting metabolic rate (what I burn by just existing) is 1364 ... add in even just sedentary activity and you get about 1750 calories burned a day. That's 12,250 calories burned in a week. That means I consumed 26,250 calories last week? There is no way! Seriously.

Looking at this rationally, I am calming down a bit (the healing power of blogging!). Looking back over everything I ate, there is truly no way that happened. That would be like eating 100 pieces of cake. I only ate 3 (over two days!). Or 175 sugar cookies. I only ate 8 (also over 2 days!). Or 44 bottles of Riesling. I only drank 1.

No, this must be a combination (a nasty one!) of several variables including wine & dehydration, menstruation & water-retention. Add in the strength exercises I've been doing and you get muscle growth (it weighs more ... though it should also help my metabolism work better). Then take into account my body irregularity and tt was clearly a really crappy week for me. Or not. Heh. Sorry.

Ok, I feel better now.