A brief email exchange this Weigh Day (141.2!!!) has given me the inspiration to write a blog that's been on my list since I reached my first goal weight.
Many have asked me why I want to keep losing weight. In fact, some people have expressed concerns about me losing too much weight. Sure, when you look at my before and after, it's extreme. But that's only because of where I started.
The end of the healthy weight spectrum for me is 145. If I weigh an ounce more than that, technically (according to my BMI), I'm unhealthy. While that may or may not be set-in-stone truth, it's the guide I've chosen to follow. I never want to be an unhealthy weight again. In fact, I'm mad at myself for living with an unhealthy weight for so long. I should have started fighting to lose weight the moment I crossed into "overweight" not when I realized I was "obese."
There never should have been a day in my life when I got over 145 (or it's equivalent when I was growing up). Weighing 145 pounds is only "skinny" to me because I started at 195. My start should have come when I first hit 146.
When I look in the mirror, I don't feel skinny because I'm not - yet. I am seeing a truth in myself. Sure, 145 is awesome and I'm thrilled to be healthy, but my perspective has always different than it should have been because I've always been overweight. I'm glad that 145 isn't satisfying to me. Because one day I will look at this size as the enemy, not the goal.
It isn't about how far I've come, though I am very proud of myself. It's all about the destination. I want to be physically fit, healthy, sexy, toned and energetic. I want 145 to be my extreme. Weighing 145 should be too much for me. And from now on, it is.
No, going from 195 to 145 was just me getting into my healthy place. It was my walk from the parking lot to the starting line. Now, the gun has gone off and I'm really starting.
I completely relate to this post. I've got 2 more pounds until I hit my goal but I don't feel like I'm done yet. However, its no longer about being skinnier because I'm really happy the way my body is now, but I feel like I can still be stronger, healthier and more fit.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it all boils down to the fact that I still want to push myself. I've been practicing yoga a lot lately (both to counteract stress and to increase flexibility) and I would love to be able to take my practice further which won't happen if I don't push myself. I want to push myself to go longer and faster during my morning runs. I want to test myself and see where it takes me.
I haven't hit my limit yet, but who knows if I ever will. Like Natalie said, I'm really just getting started.