My Sunday routine

Oh sweet glorious routine! How do I love thee.

It's Sunday - the day I read most of my assignments for the next week's classes. I go to the grocery store for food for the upcoming week. I plan my meals and talk with Kevin about the nights he will be joining me. I pack my gym bag for the week and do the laundry.

Right now, I'm steaming potatoes for tomorrow's lunch and waiting for low-cal brownies to cool so that I can bag them up for lunch tomorrow as well.

I have a paper due this week and am about half way through it - and I am completely calm because I am starting my week off on the right foot. I will be in bed by 10:30 - with all laundry folded and put away and the school bag packed for the day.

The food I eat is tied to this routine as well. Adding breakfast into my life has probably been the biggest change I've made since starting the 50n50 endeavor. In fact, I attribute most of my weight loss to the fact that I now eat breakfast every day. It's more than that though. When things are really bad in my world, I don't eat for days. I forget. And my body starves. But these days, I plan and enjoy all the food that I eat.

I can tell, on days that I don't plan, that things aren't quite right. Maybe I end up eating potatoes for dinner or I have to resort to yogurt for breakfast (something that is NOT filling to me at all!). Perhaps I didn't plan out the right amount of food for the week and my lunch lacks my usual mid-afternoon snack. I end up eating something straight out of the fridge or cupboards the moment I get home. Something that lacks the nutritious value of baby carrots or the protein of string cheese. Then, it throws off dinner and puts the whole day out of whack.

Self-control, will power, ocd, insanity ... no matter what you call it, I call it necessary for survival. If I were to miss planning my food for a few days I know that I would immediately fall off the wagon, so to speak.

For me, routine is imperative. Routine keeps me balanced and keeps me sane - literally. The greatest mood swings occur when my world order is shaken and out of whack.

It can start off simply - a messy desk makes me less productive - and then it can escalate - a messy house makes it hard for me to concentrate and sees me forgetting little things. Finally ending in disaster - not paying bills on time for several months and avoiding creditor calls while riding a carousel of shame and spiraling ever-downward.

I've alluded to a few times when this has happened, one was fairly recent and I am just now feeling myself free from the disorder and chaos in my mind.

Finally, after almost two years of turmoil, I have a routine.