"Yardstick ninja"

I've expressed my frustrations lately to several people and they all said the same thing. "Look how far you've come." And then they suggested that I don't need to lose any more weight. I disagree.
I don't know how else to get it through to people - myself included - but whenever I step on the scale and see a number above 145 I get pissed at myself. I didn't lose 50 pounds just to gain even a single pound back! I worked my tail off - literally - over the past year to get healthy. Whenever that scale says anything more than 145, it means I'm not healthy. 

Everyone needs a yardstick - something they use to measure themselves and monitor their status. If we don't have something to use, then we won't know when things are going well or when they are going to shit.  I chose the BMI scale as my yardstick and anything above 145 is unacceptable because that is an overweight BMI for my height.

Call me a "Yardstick ninja," but I don't want to weigh more than 145 again. It's not about where I started. It's about where I am at this moment. Maybe I don't need to get down to 125, but if you look at my weight this week (146), you'll see that I am "overweight" according to my yardstick.And that is unacceptable to me.

I don't like the idea of beating myself up over a pound. It sounds mentally unhealthy, right? But 145 is the absolute top end for me when it comes to weight. Weight naturally fluctuates by a pound or two in either direction. Because of this, I feel like I need a buffer. Do you understand? I want to feel like it's okay to fluctuate by a few pounds throughout the month (or even throughout winter!) and not feel like I'm playing yoyo with my health. I hate being healthy one day and overweight the next. I don't want to feel overweight ever again.

I feel like a broken record saying this, but clearly I still need to hear it. I've been talking about this damn buffer since November and I'm still stuck seeing numbers on the scale that make me overweight.

I'm coming to terms with the reality of my new self. As I'm letting myself admit that I hate running and love chocolate and trying to work out a lifestyle that takes these things into consideration, I am beginning to feel like myself again. I'm beginning to feel back in control and calm about my goals. So, I won't weigh 125 by mid-June. I'm ok with that, so long as I'm done weighing more than 145!

And with that, calorie counting is back! Tomorrow's weigh in will be icky - but it's the start of a new week and I'm totally ready for it!

Today, I consumed 1385 calories, 202 carbs, 32 grams of fat, and 83 grams of protein.

Too much of a good thing?

I lost 4 pounds this week. And I'm not entirely happy about it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm happy to read 150.6 on the scale, but that's twice the amount I should have lost! Will is stay off? That is tbd.

This could be my body finally recovering from the 3-Day. Or the fact that I lowered my calorie allowance by 100 this past week (I went from 1300 a day to 1200 a day).

Since I'm not burning thousands of calories on training walks now, I posed that "Are you going to eat less or work out more" question to myself and decided on "eat less."

This could also be one of those weeks when I have a big loss before biology attacks me and I gain or don't lose because I'm a woman. (I can talk in euphemism!)

I'll take the number of course - happily. I would just wish I could feel like it was more permanent. So much of a good thing rarely is, after all.

But maybe it will be! That would be AWESOME!

My Measurements:
Waist: 29 ... overall decrease of 11 inches :-D
Hips: 39 ... overall decrease of 7.5
Thigh: 21 ... overall decrease of 7.5 - no change, though, from last month
Calves: 15 ... overall decrease of 2.25 inches, no change from last month
Upper Arm: 12 ... overall decrease of 3.5 inches
Sadly, didn't have time to test my push ups or crunches this morning.

Last Month's Measurements
Waist: 29.5
Hips: 39.75
Thigh: 21
Calves: 15
Upper Arm: 12.5
Push ups: 20 (Though Kevin says they don't count since I didn't go down "far enough" hmph)
Sit ups: 27 (I did full sit-ups rather than crunches)

Starting Points:
Weight: 195 lbs
Waist: 40 inches
Hips: 47.25 inches
Thigh: 28.5 inches
Upper Arm: 15.5 inches
Calf: 17.25 inches
Push ups: 4
Crunches: 15

What do y'all think?

When I was at the gym last Friday, I popped over to the scale following my workout and checked the numbers.

Fully clothed, in the middle of the afternoon, I came in at 178.

Usually, Weigh Day involves me waking up, going to the bathroom, getting completely naked and then stepping on the scale.

Following Wednesday's workout, I did the same thing and weighed in at 177.

Today, I popped on the scale, again fully-clothed and following my workout, and checked the numbers: 176!

Since I am sure my clothes weigh a pound do I get to claim that I've lost 20 pounds???? I'll let you decide ...