Yo-yo is a no-no

Is this what it's like to be a yo-yo dieter? On again, off again, weight fluctuating by up to ten pounds, loving myself then hating myself. I mean like whoa. This is not a happy feeling!

You've followed me through this - and I hope you aren't super annoyed at me. But I'm human and I need help. I will NOT allow myself to go back to my old life. I WILL NOT!

Clearly, this is a mental thing. I gained back ten pounds ... and we all know how I feel about weighing more than 145. Sigh.

Somewhere over the past year, I lost my will power. I lost my drive and I lost everything except the desire to be a healthy weight.

Sure, I work out - but not consistently.

Sure, I count my calories - but not consistently.

Sure, I make healthy eating decisions - but not consistently.

Lately, it's been about sugar, chocolate, sugar, and ginger snaps. I KNOW BETTER!

And here's the annoying thing - I know that if I just get myself working out on a consistent basis, then I will be able to treat myself, even daily, with a reasonable serving of sugar, chocolate, or ginger snaps! But I just can't seem to get my butt in gear.

I've got plenty of excuses: no time thanks to school, worn out running shoes, early sunsets and late sunrises, too cold, bed is too comfortable, blah blah blah. If only I had a treadmill, if only I had more running pants, if only I had someone to hold me accountable. Are you kidding me? If only I would stop making excuses!!!

So, now that is out of my system ... I am ONCE AGAIN pledging to get myself back on track. I need a plan and I need accountability. So far, I've planned two 5ks for the upcoming weeks. I'm not in 5k shape, but who cares - that's just another excuse!

My trail running buddy (yes, I have one and yes, we meet just about every week!) have designed our own 5k route and are hosting the First Annual Plaza Lights 5k - it's untimed and doesn't involve t-shirts, but it does involve friends and the most-famous holiday lights in our area. It's going to be fun - even if it will be cold and really early.

Then, the next weekend will find me running another 5k dressed like Santa. See? I'm making this running thing fun! That's important, right?

And I'm scouring Craiglist for a treadmill ...