Friendly Reminder

Me and Kevin pre-5k Sept. 2010

I got to talking with some of the interns at work yesterday and introduced one to 50n50. She was shocked when I told her how much I used to weigh. I needed it hear it. I'm sorry to say it, but I needed the reminder of how far I've come in the past two years - how hard I worked and how much success I found. I needed to be reminded that the sacrifices involved are worth it.

Lately, I've been battling issues in my head because I still think like a fat girl. I still look in the mirror and find a million flaws in my body.

"You do?" She said to me, shocked. Yes, I do!

Basically, it comes down to this: I always assumed 150 pounds was a lot smaller than it is. I thought my legs would no longer rub together when I ran and that I'd look amazing in a bathing suit. But here I am, buying Body Glide to prevent chafing and refusing to even try on a swim suit until my thighs get under control.

If you follow me on Twitter (@50n50), then you know that I started the Couch to 5k (C25k) training program yesterday morning. It's the program I used last fall to get into shape for my first 5k and it worked really well. I mean, I actually ran a continuous 3 miles so that's a win, right? After the Race for the Cure, I trained a couple more weeks with the idea of running a 10k, but I didn't get very far. And since then? Nothing.

And that's where I screwed up. I stopped being active ... So, I'm starting over.

Now, don't go thinking I've suddenly found a piece of me that loves running - because I haven't. But the Couch to 5k program take about 30 mins a day only three times a week and I've decided I can handle doing something I don't really like for a mere 90 minutes a week. I've also been adding in some strength training for 15 minutes on my off days, courtesy of Women's Health.

For yesterday's run, I decided to change how I approach C25K. Usually, I jog it - pacing myself to make sure I have energy for the finish. But a couple of weeks ago, while jogging with Kevin I asked him to look at my form. We decided I run like a fat girl (my words, not his!).  I take shorts, clomping steps and roll my hips. I look like I'm lumbering down the road. He suggested I lengthen my stride and run like I'm free, not like I'm carrying the weight of the world.

So, that's how I ran yesterday. No jogging - all running. And I felt free for the first time in a while!!! (Well, until I felt like I was going to die, but that's why I started the program at the beginning).

Plus, I found a piece of me that loves the feeling I get after I run - the feeling of accomplishment, control, and yes, energy. Because of my morning run, I spent yesterday in a great mood.

I spent yesterday being reminded of all that I have done and all that I can do. And I needed that friendly reminder.