Facing Facts

May 2009: The weekend I was accepted to law school.

When I started the 50n50 journey, I had a plan. First, I altered my diet.  Then, after I lost about 25 pounds, I added physical activity.

I think it was this decision that ultimately led to my success. I first became accountable for my diet and then adjusted that diet to take care of my body's needs as I added physical activity. As things progressed, I saw the importance of diet - not just in weight loss, but in fueling your body.

Getting control of the diet first was key for me. Otherwise, I know how I would have acted: "Oh I walked 5 miles today, that means I can have ice cream without feeling guilty." But by the time I was walking 5 miles at a time, I knew my body needed protein and carbohydrates to fuel itself and would snack on something that would feed those needs. (Sure, maybe it was frozen yogurt, but I chose it for the nutritional values AND the taste, not just the taste!)

Now that I've hit a new wall, I have to face facts: I can't keep losing weight by diet alone.

Sure, you might say "duh" but there are times when I'm slow to see things - especially when I'm overwhelmed with school and work. I've been watching my numbers fluctuate between 141 and 147 since the moment I hit my goal weight. And, strangely enough, it was the moment I hit 145 that winter came to Kansas City and I stopped working out. Yes, I've let my discipline slip a bit and have an extra sweet more often than I should, but that's something that should be okay at this point. If this is the eating lifestyle I want to maintain, then I've got to get the physical part in check.

And it's not going to happen today, tomorrow, or next week. I have to be realistic. Here's the thing: I am overwhelmed with school this semester and am having a really hard time taking care of my responsibilities as it is. I honestly don't think I can fit exercise into my routine. Please understand it is REALLY hard for me to admit that I can't do everything I want to do right now. Really hard.


That said: I have another plan (of course I do!). School ends in 4 weeks. And with that comes a new routine! I'll be working in Kansas City and won't have to commute to campus (about an hour) all summer. I won't be taking classes so there won't be a lot of reading assignments to finish each day and I'll probably be quitting my job. So, as soon as I take my last final, I will be back out there - pounding the ground with my books on tape and getting physical.

I just have to make it through the next month. I walk to work on the weekends and do what I can when I can, but I'm going to stop sweating my lack of sweating. I have to - otherwise I'm going to go all kinds of crazy. Priorities shift sometimes, but it's all for the ultimate goal of becoming the best version of me I can be. And that includes finishing law school!