Guilt free

Today was probably one of the best of my life - definitely top ten!

Not only did I walk 11.5 miles this morning (only a mile and a half short of a half-marathon), but I followed it up with a short game of golf and am now blogging on my porch while dinner cooks on the grill.

I ate a peanut butter sandwich before my walk and Kevin had brunch ready by the time I returned. He called to check on me while I was starting my final mile and asked what I wanted for breakfast. The answer was easy: everything. I was starving!

Walking 11.5 miles burned 1400 calories - that's more than I eat in a day! So, I was stoked when I saw that he had made me pancakes, eggs (substitute), bacon (turkey) and sliced watermelon. It was half of my usual caloric allowance, but I didn't care. I'd just walked 11.5 miles!

We rested for a couple of hours and then met a friend at the golf course. I didn't play a full round - just a few holes, but I walked some more and had a grand ol' time. When Kevin got the munchies and the beer cart came by, we split a Twix (one half is only 125 calories!). I'm not really counting calories today - considering how active the day has been for me, I think I have deserved this.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not going crazy and eating anything I want, but I am allowing myself to splurge a bit. After all, a good workout isn't the ticket to the buffet line. But it does mean you can relax a bit.

I ate a candy bar, guilt free. Now, I am drinking regular beer (as opposed to light) and waiting for cheese-stuffed chicken breasts to cook on the grill. Oh, did I mention the tortilla chips I'm crunching on? After calculating it all, I am looking at about 1600 calories - and to be honest, on the weekends I usually let myself have 1500 so it's pretty darn awesome.

The freedom of today has just been so uplifting. And in that lies the silly smile that won't leave my face. I was intimidated by the scheduled walk today for my training. I was supposed to go ten miles - longer than I'd ever knowingly walked before. When I got home and mapped out my actual course, I was pretty thrilled to see how far I'd actually gone.

Scheduling golf in the afternoon was a great way to keep my muscles from cramping or getting too sore. Plus, driving around in the gold cart, feeling the breeze all around us was amazing. I'm pretty sure God was hanging out with me on that golf course this afternoon. He blessed me with a beautiful day, a wonderful boyfriend and a chance at a new life.

Check out my grill, yo!

Kevin and I grill A LOT. Whenever we have time to fire up the grill for dinner we do - even in the snow! I am always excited when I get new ideas for things to make on the grill.

In honor of Memorial Day, many of my blogs, magazines, and weekly newsletters have been sending out cook out recipes - with lots of recipes for grilled food!

Here are a few of my faves:

Six Bikini Friendly Burger Recipes (Some vegetarian ideas in this one too!)

23 Quick and Easy Kababs (So good for portion control!)

16 Irresistable Grilled Desserts (Disclaimer: Not all of these are calorie-friendly!)

Cookouts that dazzle (with 8 ingredients or less!)

Hungry Girl's "German-ish potato-ish salad" or Hungry Girl's Faux-tato Salad

Clean Eating's Homemade Ketchup (low sodium!)

Eat This, Not That's Burger Topping Selector (To keep us on track if we're at someone else's cookout!)

Have a great holiday!!!

Flowers make everything better

As long as they weren't dowsed with fertilizers, herbicides, fungicides and pesticides. So what's a girl to do if she wants pretty flowers without the nasty chemicals? Here's a fabulous alternative:

http://www.diecutflowers.com/ OR
http://www.etsy.com/shop/paperplatypus

They are beautiful alternative that will last a really long time that didn't require miles upon miles of refrigerated gas vehicles or nasty chemicals.

Clean up on Aisle 11? Wasn't me!

Since I didn't have to be at my internship this afternoon, I took a much-needed trip to the grocery store.

The stuff on my list was no fun: toilet paper, toothpaste, cat food, eggs etc. But I decided to pick up a few more things while I was there. As I was walking up and down the aisles looking at all of the options for jalapenos and such, a thought struck me.

I shop differently now.

Usually when I go to the grocery store it's with a fairly short list. I have routine foods that I eat everyday for breakfast and lunch and only a few different things for dinner. But rest assured, there isn't any boredom in my palate. I mix it up a lot!

My usual grocery list:
Milk
Egg substitute
Sliced ham
Oatmeal
Mini rice cakes (a great snack between meals - they are like cookies only healthy!)
Salsa (great on everything from meats to salad!)
Baby Carrots
Celery (I alternate between the carrots and celery in my lunches)
Apples
String cheese (great for my post-workout snack!)
Yogurt (just a few - it really isn't "worth it" to me because I don't find it filling)
Peppers
Fresh veggies (That's all I write - then I decide in the store)
Fresh fruit
Meat
Beans

Sometimes I add a few things to it - like toiletries or maybe pasta and sauce, but to be honest, I rarely enter the middle of the grocery store anymore! Mostly, I cook fresh vegetables. I might buy frozen corn, but it's rare for me to buy anything in a can anymore. It's not intentional, it just happened naturally as I became interested in cooking things from scratch.

I bought some processed stuff today - things I wish I had on hand while creating new dishes (like lite soy sauce, fat free mayo and cake mixes), but those were just bonus buys to me. Things I use rarely, but like to have on hand, you know?

I usually keep a couple cans of soup on hand (for those sick days when you just need it) and there are a few cans of "cream of ..." in the pantry, but there are just so many extra calories in processed foods! Not to mention sodium and such that I've found myself gravitating to the fresh alternatives.

It makes grocery shopping a heck of a lot faster, let me tell you! Sticking to the edges of the store means less traffic. I'm in and out much quicker these days! And with my schedule so busy all of a sudden, that the way I like it! Healthy AND fast? I'll take it!

Forgot my lunch!

This day isn't even half way over and it's been crazy!

I woke up at 6:30 (thirty minutes behind schedule!) left the house about 15 minutes later than I wanted and stepped on the treadmill 10 minutes later than planned. I upped my speed to get in my four miles and had 20 minutes to shower, get dressed and make it to class on time. Rush, rush, rush!

And in all the rushing, I forgot my lunch.

There was a time when forgetting my lunch would have really thrown me off my diet, but at this point I'm pretty well-versed in real-world tactics for healthy eating.

In order to energize my body after my workout, I bought a Fiber One bar. Protein bars are way too caloric for me, but a Fiber One bar is a good filling option when you're in a bind, though I wish they had more protein. The apple and string cheese sitting in my lunch bag, however, is much better.

For lunch, I bought a Lean Cuisine. I'm not usually a fan of Lean Cuisines - mainly because the amount of calories in them is high for the volume of food you get - but it was the best option available.

On my way to work, I've decided to stop by McDonald's for my snack. I love that you can buy sliced apples at fast food restaurants nowadays. Sure, it's expensive when you think about it, but when you're in a bind like I am today, it's a great option!

Summer: Jobs and Salads

Tomorrow starts the first day of the rest of my life!

I know, I know - pretty melodramatic. But for reals (that phrase always makes me think of Apol btw), I start my first legal internship tomorrow! I'm clerking for the Missouri Public Defenders Office. My alarm is set for 6 a.m. and I will be in the gym by 8 ... then, when I'm done on the tread mill, I will have to suit up (literally!) in time for class. When class ends, I will fly back to Kansas City for work.

6:00: Wake up, make breakfast
7:00: Leave for gym
8:00: At gym, on treadmill
9:15: Shower for work/class
9:40: In class
11:00: Lunch time
11:20: Second class
12:45: Head to Kansas City
1:35: Afternoon snack
2:00: At work
5:00: Off work
6:00: Eat dinner
6:30: Homework!
9:30: Bedtime

Just typing it out makes me tired! But to be honest, I just went over my training regimen and it's only going to be that bad on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And that's *if* I work 5 days a week - which I'm not certain will be the case. I'll know more tomorrow.

What is certain, however, is that this summer is going to be crazy! Time for cooking will be minimal. And time for researching recipes and such will be even harder to find! It's a bummer too because summer is finally finding Kansas - and with this heat comes an intense desire for cold foods! I don't have a pile of yummy salad recipes and stuff and I could really use a few.

Tonight I defrosted boiled shrimp and ate a plate full of watermelon. I just couldn't bring myself to turn on the oven - it's so hot in my house! If anyone wants to take it upon themselves to find yummy summer dishes that are cool and crisp, I would be very grateful! Clearly, no one needs a new lettuce-based salad, but other summer food is very welcome! So far I have a great tuna salad recipe (the secret is garlic powder), a wonderful stoplight salad made with peppers, and a fantastic black bean and corn salad.

In that spirit, here is the recipe for the Watermelon "salad" I had with my shrimp tonight.

Cut watermelon in 3/4 inch pieces - removing rind in process. Spray with Balsamic Breeze spray dressing. Enjoy. :-) That's all. Simple and lovely. This is the recipe that inspired me, but I was missing a couple of ingredients and didn't feel like sorting out the nutritional stats. The version I made was only 60 calories per cup of watermelon. YUM!

Pound for Pound Challenge

As a fan of The Biggest Loser, I've seen many commercials and promos for the Pound For Pound Challenge. People across America are pledging to lose weight, and for every pound lost, a pound of food is donated to a local food bank.

I just pledged my last 20 pounds and the donations through the weight I'm losing will go to a Kansas City charity.

I don't even have to ask people for money - which I really like. Just keep with what I'm doing and I can out locally! I love it!

Click here for more information!

Monthly Measurements

My Measurements:
Waist: 31.25 ... overall decrease of 8.75 inches (could be better from last month!)
Hips: 40.5 ... overall decrease of 6.75
Thigh: 21.25 ... overall decrease of 7.25 inches
Calf: 15.25 ... overall decrease of 2 inches (You can get calf reductions, right?)
Upper Arm: 12.75 ... overall decrease of 2.25 inches

I wish there was more loss in my waist - I was really hoping to say I've lost ten inches in my waist, but that's ok. There was a lot of loss in my hips; Not ten inches, but 2.5 inches in the past month. Score! Looks like my squats are working! The same for my arm curls. The numbers may not show a big loss, but the definition in my arms sure does.

And this is why I measure ... because my weight today showed a pound gained back (166), but my measurements showed progress for the past month. Normally, I would be bummed by the weight gain, but thanks to my progress in inches, it's not so bad.

Plus, I weighed myself mid-week, after I returned from Texas and it wasn't pretty at all. I gained 4 pounds while back home! I didn't like seeing 169 on the scale so I've been watching every single calorie and walking or moving whenever possible since Sunday. I was honestly relieved to see the scale say 166 this morning.

I'm hoping for 2 pounds next week to get me back on track. Actually, I'm hoping for two pounds a week for a few weeks - to get me officially on track. I have 15 weeks to lose 21 pounds. That means I need to be very vigilant over the next four months, no more diet vacations (luckily, there are no trips to Texas in the plans), and get back into the gym.

Speaking of the gym, I received a coupon in my ValPak that Gold's Gym is offering women a free membership for a month. I might just partake - for the month, in order to have a gym close to home. The offer expires at the end of May. If you're interested, I think it's a national promotion. Call your local Gold's and see!

Past Measurements:

Last Month:
Waist: 31.5 inches
Hips: 42.5 inches
Thigh: 22 inches
Calf: 15.5 inches
Upper Arm: 13 inches

Starting Points:
Weight: 195 lbs
Waist: 40 inches
Hips: 47.25 inches
Thigh: 28.5 inches
Upper Arm: 15.5 inches
Calf: 17.25 inches

Ode to my Old Routine

Ok, so my food routine is back to normal (Yay!), but there are changes I'm trying to make in my daily routine (as I said in yesterday's entry) and I just didn't feel like starting today. Sorry, girls.

Classes start at 9:40 - so technically, I don't need to leave my house until 8:45 to be on time. However, I've been up since 6:30. Yes, I could have raced around my house getting ready and left by 7 in order to get to the gym at 8 - and I will be doing that once I get my routine changed, but I am just so behind in my "world" right now, that I am taking this as my last morning to relax. This is one time when I wish changes weren't necessary, but I let myself get derailed from my Susan G. Komen 3-Day training thanks to finals, and the clock is ticking. I need to get back out there!

I like my morning routine the way it was. I like starting the day with a relaxing jaunt online, catching up on my blogs, my friends blogs, and the myriad of health articles that are delivered to my in box each morning.

I like to linger over my first cup of coffee and enjoy my oatmeal and eggs. I like to take a few moments each morning to marvel in the mirror at the changes in my body. What can I say? I like to start the day off in a calm way before sprinting out the door to my first class and the plethora of activities and "to-do" list entries that mark the passing of my days.

Oh, and I like to sleep in. But starting tomorrow the alarm goes off at 6 and leave the house between 7 and 7:30.

No place like home

There's no place like home. Such a fitting statement since I live in Kansas!

Second Spring Break is over and I am waiting for my first class of the day to start for summer school. I got up at 6 this morning and had my usual egg whites and oatmeal. It's nice to be back in my routine!

The food choices I made last week were less than spectacular and I am paying for it. My face looks worse than many 12-year-olds' and I feel huge, bloated, and icky.

But a semester comes with changes to the routine and I'm looking forward to those this summer semester will bring. My classes are from 9:40 to 12:45 each day. That means I am back to having gym time! By getting to school between 7:30 and 8 each day I will be able to get a workout in before each day's classes. Then, I can study through the afternoon and maybe even spend some guilty-free evenings with the boyfriend.

I have a job interview this afternoon and another tomorrow afternoon. If one of them works out, however, my afternoons and evenings will quickly fill up, but the mornings will still be perfect for my 3-Day training and my gym visits.

New Focal: Local

I am currently reading (okay, fine, listening to a CD of) Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kinsolver on my commute to work in the morning. It is a little preachy, but still very inspirational. It is all about her yearlong adventure in eating locally. Some interesting facts...for each 1 calorie of food produced, 11 calories (of energy) were used to produce it...the average trip for everything on your plate? 15oo miles...We use almost as much fossil fuels in our fridge (transport, fertilizer, etc) as we use in our car. Pretty crazy, right?

As a side point, buying organic is fabulous, but buying conventionally farmed local fare has less of an environmental impact since it didn't need to be refrigerated and shipped from far away. Obviously, buying local, organic produce is the best, but its not always possible.

I am a weekend gardener. I have a few vegetable plants in my backyard and a plot at the community garden. I recently planted a Fuji apple tree and a grapevine along my back fence. It is great for my health and sanity to be able to dig in the dirt on the weekends. I try to eat locally from my garden and from the Farmer's Market (find yours at http://www.ams.usda.gov/AMSv1.0/farmersmarkets), but sometimes I get lazy and I just want the easiest thing from the grocery store.

I want to take it more seriously this year. I want to eat locally and healthy throughout the winter. This means lots of prep work in the summer and fall. I will buy things when they are in season and can, freeze or dry them so they are available throughout the winter.

This is, of course, intricately tied with losing weight and staying healthy. I always do great in late spring, summer and early fall while fresh food and warm weather make me want to get outside and stay healthy. As the bitter Maryland cold sets in, my morning runs cease, the yummy fruits and veggies disappear and pizza delivery starts to look really good. If I have the remnants of summer available, I will be more likely to pull them out of the cupboard or the freezer and make a soup, chili or healthy homemade pizza...not to mention cut my reliance on fossil fuels and support local farmers. It's a win-win situation all around.

Compliments of Texas

Through a quick text exchange, Renee and I have decided that Kansas City is better for my health than my beloved Texas. How did we reach this conclusion?

Well, in Kansas City I don't eat BLTs, strawberry milkshakes, fried chicken sandwiches and fried eggs. ALL. IN. ONE. WEEK.

In my defense, when I ordered the chicken sandwich I truly thought it would be grilled. Silly Natalie. I'm not expecting any weight loss this week - compliments of the Texas lifestyle.

It's been a great visit, however. I now have three "new" suits and a "new" (reused!) iPhone. I'm going shoe shopping in the morning and to a wedding reception in my "new" (thrift store find!) Sarah Jessica Parker dress.

Also, seeing family has been great. I have been able to visit with my dad, his girlfriend, my brother, his wife, my nieces, my aunt and am fixin to see my best high school friend and my cousin and his new little girl.

Texas, while bad for my eating, is good for my self esteem. For each of these folks, my weight loss is new and they are full of compliments. In Kansas City, my friends see me on a regular basis and with a gradual weight loss like mine, it's not something easily noticeable. I'll admit, I've really been looking forward to seeing the people who haven't seen me in 20 pounds.

But you know what? I wasn't prepared for the questions from those who don't know about 50n50.

The hardest: "You've lost weight. What diet are you on?"

Honestly, how do you answer that without sounding snooty?

"No specific diet, I just eat right" sounds judgmental and hoity toity to me. I can't go around putting on airs. So I just say thank you and that I count everything that goes in my mouth. I need a better answer, though, because that makes it sound like something that is a pain and might discourage others from trying my method.

Still, the compliments of Texas have been wonderful. Even my 11-year-old niece, just this morning said, "You've gotten skinny!" And that fried chicken sandwich was damn good, too.

Thirty, flirty and thriving!

Weight a minute ...I forgot something when writing the previous serious-toned post ...

I'VE LOST 30 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEE!!!! WOO HOO!!! (or, more appropriately:) YEEHAW!!!!!!

Emotional and nutritional challenges

I weighed myself this morning and am thrilled to say I am a grand total of 30 pounds lighter than at the start of this! Before I get too excited, I have to ground myself. I have the week off from school - my break between spring and summer semesters - and am at the start of a pretty difficult trip to Texas.

First, I am here to help my grandfather sort through my grandmother's belongings. Her death has had a big impact on me and I miss her every day. She died in January and I spent that week helping my grandfather get as settled as I could in his new routine. Today, I am heading to his house (which is why I weighed today - he doesn't own a scale) to help him decide what of hers to keep and what to donate to charities.

Of course this trip will be emotionally difficult, but it also holds a lot of nutritional difficulty. Texas is full of fat people. Yep, I'm fixin to say it: even my family struggles with weight A LOT. I know the culprit: restaurants. My dad eats out just about every meal - my grandfather too (though he eats like a chicken and doesn't weigh hardly anything anymore).

There is a silver lining, though. My grandmother, Bunna, had GREAT taste in clothes. She modeled for local stores until a year or so ago and was a perfect size 10. There will be many clothes coming my way.


So, this next week will hold a lot of challenges for me. Pray that I can make the right decisions and be helpful where it matters. Corsicana, Texas is hardly the health capital of anything. My grandfather eats breakfast at Roys Cafe everyday (and has for 40 years). His friends are there and I am grateful that he has a reason to wake up every day. However, Roys serves you grease with a side of eggs. Lord help me.

One month update...

It's now been exactly 1 month since I posted my last blog about starting to do early morning runs instead of running after work. I am so happy (and proud) to say that I am still doing my morning runs at least 4 times a week and I even look forward to them everyday! It is still hard to get out of bed, but no harder than it was before. After the run, I am wide awake and ready for the day...that was never the case before. I also have all this time in the afternoons that I never had before. To top it all off, I have lost around 6 lbs this month! It's a win win situation in every direction!

So now that I have this fabulous new work out routine, what do I do next? I want to vary it by doing something different on the weekends like yoga, a work-out video or weight training. I want to start taking a multi-vitamin everyday. I want to increase my daily mileage at least once, if not twice, a week. Fabulous...I think I will start these today...I'm feeling very confident these days...it's a nice feeling.

Whew.

Well, I didn't gain weight this week. Granted the last three days I've done a great job on my diet and working out, but this weekend I drank A LOT and ate food that wasn't spectacular. So the fact that I didn't actually gain anything is huge. Still the same weight. But am feeling and looking thinner.

My rib cage is showing again. Thank goodness. And my legs are getting muscular again. Praise Jesus.

Natalie and I had this big discussion yesterday about BMI and realistic expectations concerning size and weight. How women who are the same age (like Nat and I) can gain and carry weight in completely different ways and areas. And how we all need to go about weight loss and fitness in different ways.

The ideal body weight for my size was the weight I was when I started this (169) and anywhere from 40 lbs below that (129). I'd like to be around 155. That's 27 lbs from now. I think I can do it, it will just take time. I just have to be diligent. So here are some new revised goals since I haven't gained weight in two weeks:

Fitness Goals:
1. Run 3-4 days a week. Averaging around 15-20 miles a week. (That is until full training begins and I'm upwards of 30-35 miles a week.)
2. Yoga at least once a week. Class on Fridays. Try to do at least two more times on my own.
3. Start p90x today and see if I hate it and how sore I am.
4. By the end of the year run in two more half marathons and one full marathon.
5. Decrease my 5k time to around 27 minutes. (Yes, I'm slow, people...)
6. Improve my half marathon time by 15 minutes each race.

Nutrition Goals:
1. Cut out soda completely. Although I've already done this sometimes I slip and no frou-frou coffee drinks.
2. 64 oz of water a day. May increase my pee output, but that shall be good for me.
3. Take a multi-vitamin everyday.
4. Keep my caloric intake less than 1500 a day.
5. No more booze at promotions. Which means no more weekday drinking.
6. Eat vegetables at every meal. Have lean proteins at every meal.

Alright. Now I'm accountable for these things since I wrote them down for you all to read. So feel free to bust me on them. Off to do my first P90X workout. Thanks all!

Oh, and happy Cinco de Drinko!

Reflections on reflections

I have a huge picture window in my living room. Mainly, my dog uses it to survey the neighborhood - watching and waiting for anything amiss. On relaxing weekend mornings Kevin and I sit on the deck in front of the picture window and read, study or blog.

This morning, as I returned to my chair from refilling my coffee, I happened to catch my reflection in the window. I had to double take. Is that really me?

For more than 10 years I have been a size 16 (give or a take a bit) so seeing myself almost ten inches smaller in the waist, a couple of cup sizes smaller in the bust and leaner in the legs has taken some adjusting. Often, I focus on the problem areas - my huge calves, my round face, my large derriere. But sometimes, like today, I get caught off-guard and the insecurities take a moment to catch up to me. Other times, I just stare at my legs and marvel at the idea that they actually belong to me. They are so much thinner than I ever remember before!

Of course, the insecurities aren't far behind and I suddenly start thinking about how I really want to look. The tight abs, the cute, pert bust, the shapely, yet trim butt - and I wonder if I will ever be able to look as good in real life as I imagine in my dreams. But, on days like today, I'm able to focus on the progress I've made and see my body for how it really looks, not how the monsters in my mind twist things.