Successful trial run for trail running

Ok, so this is super duper exciting for me ... FINALLY, I have found a way to love running!

As you know, I've struggled with this. I want to love running, I really do. However, I don't. It's boring and each morning my run just feels like 30 minutes of torture that I endure so that I can feel proud of myself for said torturous endurance the rest of the day. Sure, I feel fantastic after my runs - but I feel miserable during them. Until yesterday.

Kevin and I joined a Meet Up group that goes hiking every other week. We drove about 45 minutes out of the city to a small state park and joined 24 others in a lovely four-mile hike. We took Chester (dog) and had a blast.

About half a mile into the hike, Chester decided he needed to relieve himself. Kevin bagged it up and we left the bag planning to come back at the end of the hike so we wouldn't have to carry the stink package with us. So, after our hike and a lovely little picnic lunch, we rested and went back into the woods to retrieve Chester's doggy bag.

Feeling refreshed, we decided to run the trail. And it was AWESOME! Admittedly, it was a hard run. And I was pretty ashamed when I realized I could barely breathe after running a mere quarter of a mile, but the shame was replaced with joy as I realized how much fun I was having. First off, while running this trail, I felt very in-tune with my surroundings. I wasn't worried about anything but where to put my foot next and whether I was going to fall and roll down a hill to my death. The exhilaration I felt while gravity and my athleticism (ha, yeah right) propelled me down the steep hills was indescribable.  My blood was pumping, my lungs were burning, and my face was lit up with delight.

Basically, I loved every second of the hardest run I've ever tried and am not even disheartened by how hard it was (um, hello: wearing pants + full stomach from lunch + already hiked 4 miles that day = exhaustion and lack of energy). I said something to Kevin about the idea of trail running and he said he really enjoyed it, too.

Lucky for us, we live in an area of the country with a lot of trails to run. And we've decided to run them. I visited Active.com today and found a great article about the best trails to run across the country. That, plus my decision to register for an actual train race in the next few months has me very excited for fall and training. (I'm pretty sure this will be a race I run ... or this one ... or both!).

Yes, there is a lot of training ahead of me - and sadly during the week very little of it will get to be on trails - but I'm excited for weekend runs. That's right. I'm excited. About running. How awesome is that?

Gym Nat

It's been a roller-coaster summer, weight-wise for me. I was headed on a lovely downward roll a few weeks ago and was swept right back into an uphill climb by some dumb decisions (one drink rule!). This week hasn't all been brains, but I added some brawn and feel pretty good about it.

Basically, it all started two weeks ago when I saw my dog pee on the playroom carpet. I couldn't stand it anymore, my friend came over and we just ripped it all out. Bye-bye stinky carpet! I stepped on the scale right after hours spent pulling and moving furniture and stuff and saw a beautiful 145.4!!! And then, I went to a party...

So, fast forward to this week, I finally decided just what I wanted to do with the space my organization efforts created in the playroom. After two days of work: painting, scrubbing, hauling, lifting, and even some wall-art making, I'm now the proud owner of a Zen Gym!!! It's ok, I'll answer if you call me a Gym Nat.

Ta da!!!

I wanted to make a place for me to easily access all of my workout equipment. I'm looking for some workout charts and still need to hang my resistance bands and jump ropes on the wall, but otherwise, the room is all done. I've got space for yoga and stability ball work and the tv is ready in case I decide to buy another digital converter for evening watching (rarely do it, but when I do I should totally multi-task for my body, right?) or a dvd player or vcr to watch movies and workout videos. Of course, there is always my laptop for that too ...

Anyway, I've used it two days in a row now! Perhaps it's my imagination, but I'm already seeing more definition in my legs. I swear.

The motivation has followed me in other areas of my day too: I'm sticking to my healthy eating better and I went on a 5-mile walk with a friend last night! The scale was pretty friendly this morning, though it doesn't count as a weigh in, and I'm pleased.

I just need to keep up this momentum! In fact, I think I'll go lift a bit now ...

Fro Yo Go Go

So, we all know just how much I love all things ice cream-esque. Last summer Kevin and I discovered a lovely ice cream and sno-cone shop two miles from the house and made it our habit to walk there whenever we wanted tasty goodness. Since then, two amazing things have happened.

First, our television was stolen. We didn't watch a lot of tv anyway, but with nothing but an old console left we don't watch nearly as many movies or video games these days. Instead, we look for other ways to pass our evenings.

Second, two frozen yogurt shops moved into the area.

Did you just hear angels singing? Yeah, I know: Evening activity + Fro Yo = Natalie and Kevin walking at least three miles almost every evening.

It's totally win, win, win too. I satisfy my ice cream fix, the dog du jour gets their energy walked out, I burn calories, and Kevin and I get to spend quality time together. It's awesome! I burn 250 calories or so walking two and from the fro yo shop and only consume 150 calories (and calcium!) eating my tasty treat. Plus, it makes for a lovely cool down in the middle of working out (yes, we walk briskly!) in this heat.

There are two frozen yogurt shops to choose from - PeachWave and Yogurtini. Peachwave is a 3-mile walk through the hip part of town. Yogurtini is a 3.9-mile walk through the fancy part of town. They each offer different flavors and different scenery so it never gets boring.

Today was hot. Officially the hottest day of the year with the high at 110 in some locations. My phone said it felt like 104 just a few moments ago. When I got up this morning and saw that the temp had already reached 90, I decided I wouldn't be able to handle my Couch to 5k routine. I was disappointed because I really do like the way I feel once I'm finished.

Anyway, because I missed the run this morning, we decided to walk the 3.9 miles to Yogurtini. The weirdest thing happened on the way home. I blame the heat ... and the fro yo.

I grabbed Sadie's leash and started running. I hollered to Kevin to tell me when 90 seconds had passed. Then, I walked 90 seconds and started running again - this time for 3 minutes. As I started that three-minute run I decided to just do today's Couch to 5k routine. And I did it!

Once I got home and brought my body temp out of the triple digits using a sugar-free Fudgesicle, I was thrilled with myself. The old Natalie would have let the heat stop her and use it as an excuse. But it looks like I turned it into a challenge or something. Because I certainly didn't let it stop me.

The last three minutes about killed me. Did I mention the heat??? And I hadn't really hydrated with running in mind. And I'd already walked 2 miles before even contemplating running. And even Sadie was so exhausted she just laid down at one point. BUT I DID IT. And I kind of feel invincible. Almost.

At first I was just proud to make myself work for my treats. I recommend it to everyone. All working out should come with awesomeness like frozen yogurt, right? Plus, you'll feel like you can take on the world. Or at least 110 degrees at 6 miles an hour - in intervals.

Challenge Accepted

A local company has issued a challenge to Kansas City ... the KC Slimdown. Basically, teams of 4-6 people compete to see which team will have the highest percentage of weight loss by Oct. 9, 2011. The winners get a trip to the Hyatt Regency Scottsdale Resort and Spa.

Since Abigail and I are so competitive, we called up friends and started a team.  We plan to win, of course. This morning, 4 of our 5 team members met at the local farmer's market to go for a morning walk and get to know each other. The contest officially starts tomorrow.

We all had to officially weigh in at a local YMCA and received free t-shirts and tape measures (The shirts say "Challenge Accepted" on the back). It's a great idea to get friends and co-workers together with the goal of getting healthier. Each of the members of TUFF STUFF is shooting to lose at least 10% of our weight during the contest.

We walked two miles this morning, burning about 150 calories.  Then we hit the farmer's market for fresh veggies to eat this week. I'm excited to have a team to help me out of this plateau. I've lost a couple of pounds already! Another teammate and I weigh about the same, but I think she's thinner. Abigail has dubbed it a contest between the skinny girls. I don't know about that - I'm really competing against myself, but I'll happily serve as someone else's motivation if they need it!

Anyway, I sent an email to my teammates yesterday with resources I found most helpful while losing most of the 50 pounds I've lost so far. Since the resources are probably useful to others who stumble upon this blog now, I'm going to repost them in their own entry for 50n50 readers.

And to my competitors, see you at the finish line!

Thoughts on this Weigh Day

I'm happy to announce my weight this morning was 149.8. I'm back in the 140s. Five pounds more and I won't be overweight anymore. Ten pounds and I'll be in new territory. I want new territory!

There are a million thoughts running through my head and none go together to make a lovely blog entry ... so, here are the top three.

1. I'm excited to hear from 4 of the "Ladies (and Gentleman) in Weighting" who are still hanging with me and wanting to get back on track as we head into the second half of this year. I challenge each of you to write a blog entry this week all about your plans for getting back on track. For me, I'm counting my calories each day and running the Couch to 5k program (again).

2. After the morning I had (involving cat pee and fleas - a dreaded 4-letter word in my house), it's a miracle I got out of bed, much less went running. But I did and things are already looking up. Mainly because this means I don't have to run again for almost 48 hours. This morning's run wasn't all that terrible to be honest. I was glad to get out of the house and away from everything that needed doing there. Also, Monday's run felt great during the first two (of eight) intervals. By interval four I was hurting ... and by eight, I wanted to die. Today felt great through interval four, by six I was hurting and by eight I was nauseated. But I didn't want to die so yay!

3. After yesterday's post, I received an email from my aunt full of words of encouragement. She pointed out that everyone is always starting over because things happen in life and we get distracted. "Don't beat yourself up anymore, you have just joined the starting over club." And she's right - except for one thing (I was wrong on this too, so it's not just her). I'm not starting over. I'm starting again and there is a BIG difference in those two ideas. Starting over would mean I was back at the beginning, but I'm not. Mind, body and spirit, I'm not where I was two years ago. I truly thank my aunt for her kind words - and for thinking I'm beautiful no matter what I weight. Love you!

Friendly Reminder

Me and Kevin pre-5k Sept. 2010

I got to talking with some of the interns at work yesterday and introduced one to 50n50. She was shocked when I told her how much I used to weigh. I needed it hear it. I'm sorry to say it, but I needed the reminder of how far I've come in the past two years - how hard I worked and how much success I found. I needed to be reminded that the sacrifices involved are worth it.

Lately, I've been battling issues in my head because I still think like a fat girl. I still look in the mirror and find a million flaws in my body.

"You do?" She said to me, shocked. Yes, I do!

Basically, it comes down to this: I always assumed 150 pounds was a lot smaller than it is. I thought my legs would no longer rub together when I ran and that I'd look amazing in a bathing suit. But here I am, buying Body Glide to prevent chafing and refusing to even try on a swim suit until my thighs get under control.

If you follow me on Twitter (@50n50), then you know that I started the Couch to 5k (C25k) training program yesterday morning. It's the program I used last fall to get into shape for my first 5k and it worked really well. I mean, I actually ran a continuous 3 miles so that's a win, right? After the Race for the Cure, I trained a couple more weeks with the idea of running a 10k, but I didn't get very far. And since then? Nothing.

And that's where I screwed up. I stopped being active ... So, I'm starting over.

Now, don't go thinking I've suddenly found a piece of me that loves running - because I haven't. But the Couch to 5k program take about 30 mins a day only three times a week and I've decided I can handle doing something I don't really like for a mere 90 minutes a week. I've also been adding in some strength training for 15 minutes on my off days, courtesy of Women's Health.

For yesterday's run, I decided to change how I approach C25K. Usually, I jog it - pacing myself to make sure I have energy for the finish. But a couple of weeks ago, while jogging with Kevin I asked him to look at my form. We decided I run like a fat girl (my words, not his!).  I take shorts, clomping steps and roll my hips. I look like I'm lumbering down the road. He suggested I lengthen my stride and run like I'm free, not like I'm carrying the weight of the world.

So, that's how I ran yesterday. No jogging - all running. And I felt free for the first time in a while!!! (Well, until I felt like I was going to die, but that's why I started the program at the beginning).

Plus, I found a piece of me that loves the feeling I get after I run - the feeling of accomplishment, control, and yes, energy. Because of my morning run, I spent yesterday in a great mood.

I spent yesterday being reminded of all that I have done and all that I can do. And I needed that friendly reminder.

My upward spiral

Since the beginning of May, I'm ashamed to say, I've gained weight. Maybe you noticed I haven't been updating the weekly Weigh Day information ... it's because I was on an upward shame spiral. Last week was the worst. I hit 152 when I stepped on the scale Wednesday. For my height, that's seven pounds overweight.

It's no secret that I've been stuck in a slump. All you have to do is look at the titles of my posts over the past few months to see how much I've struggled.


I shouldn't have let myself create this big finish line for a goal that wasn't my ultimate goal. Once I hit that goal weight, I let down my guard and it triggered a retreat of sorts. One that I really regret right now!

I'm angry because I worked so hard to lose that weight and gaining it back is NOT acceptable.  Plus, seven pounds up means seven more pounds to lose to reach my ultimate goal weight - and that's about 7 extra weeks! But I have to admit it's my own fault. All I've done lately is talk about my plans to lose more weight, but I've acted on very few of these plans.

As it happens, a friend came to me last week because she wanted help losing weight. She doesn't know about my recent struggles and it was nice to be with someone who sees me as a success story. It's the old adage - I'm my worst critic and I've been bringing myself down. I've been my own road block.

Sitting down with her, creating a plan for calories and meals and giving her my tips and tricks really reminded me of the basics that I followed not-too-long-ago.

I set out to help her, but I think I helped me in the process. I'm back to counting my calories and tracking how much water I drink. I'm monitoring my fiber intake (I noticed my system wasn't as regular as it used to be). I even went on a 3-mile walk last night with Kevin and Sadie last night. This morning, I stepped on the scale for Weigh Day and it came up at 148! I'm not even letting myself freak out because it means I've lost 4 pounds this week - I'm pretty sure it was water and waste thanks to getting my system back on track.

I'm not calling declaring myself cured - far from that. But this is a step in the right direction. Finally.

Accountability is key

Updating my weight on the blog this morning was one of the hardest things I've had to do lately!

I weighed in at 149.6 pounds and that is ... BAD.

Since a big part of 50n50 is accountability, I posted the number on the blog - though I was very tempted to "forget." The first step in the 50n50 process was admitting my weight. Having it out there, for the world to see has been a big motivator. I can't stop being honest now - no matter how ashamed of myself I am.

It's only going to be up there a week. And maybe I needed a shocking number like that to reiterate how important it is to make good, educated decisions all day, every day.

I won't allow anymore self-loathing to enter this game, either. It would be easy to say "Forget it! I give up" and go to McDonalds for a McGriddle, but I'm worth more than that! I may not measure my destination by where I started, but I sure can measure my worth by how far I've come! And baby, I've come too far to turn back now.

So, today I weigh 149.6. But that won't be the case next week. You'll see. 

Getting a jump start

Confession is good for the soul ... or in this case, the soles.

Since writing my previous post, I have been so ashamed with myself and my admission, that I've been working out just about every day! Sure, I'm not up to where I should be training-wise, but at least I'm off my seat and on my feet.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I have a "virtual jump rope" and have been using it lots lately. If you don't follow me on Twitter, shame on you! I'm @50n50, look me up!

Say "Hello" to my little friend!

Anyway, my virtual jump rope isn't an imaginary toy. It's an awesome gadget that came as a gift-with-purchase when Kevin bought some workout thingie after Christmas. And I LOVE IT!

Literally, it is best described as two handles with strings and little weights at the end. You hold the handles like they were jump rope handles and swing the strings like they are attached as a rope. The Cardio Rope, as it officially calls itself, tracks time, number of jumps, and calories burned based on the weight you enter. Jumping for 10 minutes burns 100 calories. And I have a good burn going in my calves!

I don't just jump for ten minutes straight - I change it up and do different things with my legs: Criss-cross, high kicks, waist twists. The time flies (when a funny tv show is on) and my heart gets going. 

Last night I was even feeling it in my arms. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and while I admit I looked a bit silly, my arms looked insanely awesome. The handle and swinging motions, you see, make it an upper body workout too.I felt so good last night that I decided to do some push ups. Usually I do them girly-style because Kevin says I do them wrong the real way. But not last night. I did 5 perfect push ups - twice! Maybe ten doesn't sound like a lot, but my butt wasn't sticking up and my nose was a jut a few inches from the floor. They felt good and in my head they looked good too.

I'm already seeing better definition in my legs and I've been jumping for a few days now. But it's motivation enough for me!

Clearly, I just needed a jump start!

In search of motivation

When you embark on a weight-loss journey, there are two ways to go about it: 1) eat fewer calories and 2) burn extra calories. Often, people mix these two, but not always. In fact, studies have shown that working out isn't nearly as important as watching your food intake when you want to drop pounds.

When I started on the 50n50 path, I opted not to add exercise until I weighed less than 175 pounds. Because I have had bad knees most of my life, I didn't want to mess them up more by putting pressure on them. It was a good decision.

Enter the 3-Day training when I walked all over Kansas City - almost literally - and loved it, followed by training for my first 5k.  Then, I hit my goal weight and shifted my attention to maintenence for a couple of months and that was that.

Now I want to get back into losing weight and it is proving more difficult than I thought. I'm practicing most of the good habits I learned while losing 50 pounds - except one.

I don't exercise.

I hope it's just the weather that is causing this - maintenance began just as winter hit and it's been a doozy - but for some reason, I think there is more to blame.

This is a dark, dirty secret I have been hiding for a couple of months now and I'm ashamed of it. I ashamed that after all this time, I still can't get over how much I dislike physical activity. When it comes to exercise, I just can't seem to get over the hurdle of pain. I know it's going to hurt and I don't wanna feel it. I know I'm going to sweat, and I hate that sticky, icky feeling.

I have all the resources I need - access to the gym at school and a Groupon membership (30 visits in 90 days) to the Golds Gym in my 'hood. But I haven't activated either this year.

I'm supposed to be running a half marathon in SIX WEEKS. So, it's time to get my ass in gear, seriously. Realisitically, there is no way I'll be able to run the entire thing, but there is no reason I should walk to whole thing either.

My 3-Day training and 5k training came with motivation - curing cancer, but the half marathon isn't cause related. I need to find that spark. For some reason, it's easier for me to get off my butt for a cause like breast cancer, but not for my own sake.

This, my ladies, is one question to which I don't have the answer. But, I'm no longer full of excuses ... At least I'm heading in the right direction. I just gotta make sure I pick up the pace.

I know a thing a two

This blog is about setting goals. Get it???

I am not, by any means, an expert on weight loss. I'm just a girl who reads a lot about it and has had a successful experience over the past year. However, I've learned a thing or two during this journey and I wish I could share it with the world.

1) There is no single right way to lose weight - what worked for me might not work for someone else. For me, counting calories was the way to get it done. But I've seen people find success without writing down a single food.

Some of my friends added a lot of physical activity to their lives and didn't change their eating habits one bit. I would never have succeeded if I'd done that because it would have overwhelmed me and made me feel like I was being tortured every day. I became a bit food-obsessed (LOVE cooking!) so there was never a time when I felt tortured, that's for sure, quite the opposite.

2) But there are many wrong ways to lose weight. One of those wrong ways involves setting extreme goals that are next to impossible to meet reasonably. It saddens and frustrates me when I see a friend embark upon something that appears destined for failure at the start. I hope and pray they will succeed, but I have yet to see it. As I'm sure you will agree, the strongest motivator when working to lose weight is success. So, why do we not make our goals rationally when it comes to weight loss?

A friend of mine announced a plan to lose 30 pounds by January 1. That's eight weeks from now - and includes two MAJOR food holidays! Seriously, I wish her well, but what is the likelihood that she will succeed? Everywhere you look (except the Biggest Loser, of course), medical advisers preach losing only 1-2 pounds a week. So why do people still set goals for major weight loss (more than 10 pounds) and completely ignore this guideline?

I'm going to be harsh here: If someone is an expert on weight loss and knows so much about it that he thinks it's acceptable to disregard other experts, then he wouldn't need to lose more than 10 pounds. Right?

I know slow weight loss is frustrating. Believe me, I felt it and at times it bummed me out. But looking back, I also know that my success was because the weight loss was slow. I didn't make drastic changes in my routine or my eating. I tackled one thing at a time.

If you notice, I didn't start increasing my physical activity until I'd lost about 20 pounds. I waited until I was comfortable with the changes in my diet before changing something else. I set small goals - you know, like lose a pound this week - and felt successful each time I reached them.

Do we set drastic goals because we have become a society of people who need instant gratification?

Are we used to working hard in short bursts for our success?

Is weight loss just another to-do list entry?

I'd venture to say that it is a mix of the above. I know I wanted to see results fast - and didn't, but I love the results I'm seeing now and the it was totally worth the weight wait. In truth, I was used to short bursts of hard work followed by weekends of relaxation, but this won't work in weight loss. Even a "free day" once a week, as some advocate, creates the chance to backslide. And you know we love to-do lists. There are about a million apps out there that help us organize our errands and each thing we need to accomplish is a day's work. But weight loss isn't something to check off a list. It's something to incorporate into your life - it's the by-product of a healthier lifestyle.

So, I advocate setting attainable goals for yourself. Few people wake up one day and say "I'm going to make $30 million by Jan. 1" and expect to achieve. But if you say, "I'm going to save an extra $300 by Jan 1" you will probably do it! You won't get overwhelmed and you'll find the little changes you need to make in your money habits to reach your goal. So why not carry that into weight loss? You'll be the richer for it, I promise.

Proof is in the picture

As strange as it may seem, I have had a hard time realizing that I've lost 40 pounds. Sure, I see the number on the scale each (day) week, but I honestly haven't seen it in the mirror. When people tell me I look different, I wonder to myself how that's possible. But, that all changed today - it's finally beginning to sink in!

Losing weight slowly has made it hard for me to fully grasp how different I look because I see myself everyday. Sometimes, I'll walk past a mirror and catch a glimpse of a girl who looks like a smaller version of me, but when I turn to look closer, all I see is the same face that greeted me over the sink earlier in the day when I was brushing my teeth. This surprises those who don't see me everyday - to them, the change is drastic - but it's been so gradual that it's snuck up on me.

But, it turns out that I really, truly look different.

It finally sank in this afternoon when I was getting ready for Boobs Rock - my big breast cancer awareness festival. As a joke, I "slutted" up my t-shirt by tying it tightly around my waist and rolling it up a bit. But when Kevin showed me a picture of myself I was shocked. I expected to be ashamed by my usual rolls, but - um - they weren't there.

I first passed it off as a trick of the camera angle, but when I saw other photos from Boobs Rock - and I still looked half decent - things started shifting in my mind.

So, as an experiment, I went through all of the photos I've taken over the past year and pulled one from each month into a folder. It wasn't the best experiment because there were many different angles - and I really avoid full-body photos anyway.

It was when I accidentally went from a photo taken today to one taken a year ago, however, that I finally saw what everyone has been trying to tell me. And, um, wow. Can I say that? I look A LOT different!

I'm saving the before/after photo for the finale blog in September - but I needed this realization now. I needed to see how far I've come in order to head into the last lap of this journey. The next ten pounds may not make much of a difference visually, but seeing just how much I've changed has me pretty jazzed.

What a weekend

I can't quite decide how to start this post ...

How do you count the calories you throw up?

Anyone interested in running 30 miles?

Have you ever tried to tell a breast cancer survivor she can't do something?

I honestly don't even know where to start ... and this is what happens when I don't blog every couple of days.

So I'll take a cue from Maria Von Trapp and "start at the very beginning" since it's "a very good place to start."

Last week, I got knocked down by a nasty summer bug. In fact, they sent me home from work Thursday and told me not to come in on Friday. I also missed school on those two days - and my training walks. But I was feeling better by Friday night and was able to give my sister-in-law and nieces a quick introduction to Kansas City bbq when they passed through town on their way to Des Moines.

A few weeks ago I signed up to volunteer for the 2010 Psycho Psummer Run Toto Run 50k Trail Run at the nearby lake. Yes, a 50k. They put me in charge of Aid Station at mile 5 and 20 and it was the most inspirational day I've had in awhile.

I met this amazing, stubborn, crazy woman who is 63, has survived breast cancer and refused to quit even though it took her more than 3 hours to hit mile 5. Her daughter passed away this year and was signed up for the race so she was doing it for her. Can you just imagine? To read more about her, click here.

When a run is longer than a marathon, it's considered an ultrarun. And those who run them are CRAZY. I mean this is a good way, of course. The amazing endurance, strength and physical prowess on display Saturday was just so amazing! (And I got to rub sunscreen on some of it!)

Seriously, when I finish my 3-Day training, I am going to start running. I went into training to run a 5k a couple of years ago and got myself up to 2 miles, but stopped when a dog attacked me. But I want to have a body like the women I saw this weekend. I want to be physically impressive. And I want to show people just how much I've changed in body AND mind.

Anyway, running 50k takes awhile - and they don't call it endurance volunteering for nothing. I was lugging pitchers of water and cutting fruit for more than 8 hours. Outside.

I felt good when things started. I was drinking a lot of water and peeing a lot, but I didn't bring a lunch and couldn't bring myself to eat most of the snacks we had for the runners because they were so high in calorie. So, I ate a lot of fruit and nothing else.

Big mistake.

My head started hurting after the first hour and didn't stop until late Sunday evening. When my Aid Station closed after the last runner finally came through, I raced home and made it just in time to hug the toilet. It was awful. I spent the rest of the evening in bed. Kevin brought me saltines and Sprite Zero and that was dinner.

Then, when I awoke on Sunday, every muscle in my body felt like beef jerky - completely dried out. I spent the day eating saltines and drinking water. Deciding I needed to move a bit, I went with Miss Abigail to see Eclipse and drank more water and ate popcorn.

I ate a lot of salt on purpose. Clearly, I had overheated and lost a lot of electrolytes and sodium while working Saturday. So, diet aside, it was important to gain those back - and keep hydrating myself. No matter how much you are working, when heat is involved, it is important to keep your body full of the proper electrolytes. When I go on my long walks I alternate 50 ounces of water with 32 ounces of sports drink in order to achieve this. Long distance runners, however, take it even further and take salt pills at least once an hour. I need to get some of those tablets for the 3-Day! Clearly, I am highly susceptible to heat issues.

While helping my body recover Sunday, I still tried to stick to my calorie count ... which means I didn't get enough "real" food and I totally noticed a change in my demeanor by the evening.

I was a total monster and blame the lack of greens! I guess you are what you eat - and lots of sodium makes me SALTY.

I don't know what Weigh Day will be like for me this week - I'm not able to workout or train to my usual degree. Plus, I had to eat a lot of "bad" foods to help my body recover the electrolytes lost during my volunteering. Here's hoping I didn't cause myself too much damage!

Compliments of Texas

Through a quick text exchange, Renee and I have decided that Kansas City is better for my health than my beloved Texas. How did we reach this conclusion?

Well, in Kansas City I don't eat BLTs, strawberry milkshakes, fried chicken sandwiches and fried eggs. ALL. IN. ONE. WEEK.

In my defense, when I ordered the chicken sandwich I truly thought it would be grilled. Silly Natalie. I'm not expecting any weight loss this week - compliments of the Texas lifestyle.

It's been a great visit, however. I now have three "new" suits and a "new" (reused!) iPhone. I'm going shoe shopping in the morning and to a wedding reception in my "new" (thrift store find!) Sarah Jessica Parker dress.

Also, seeing family has been great. I have been able to visit with my dad, his girlfriend, my brother, his wife, my nieces, my aunt and am fixin to see my best high school friend and my cousin and his new little girl.

Texas, while bad for my eating, is good for my self esteem. For each of these folks, my weight loss is new and they are full of compliments. In Kansas City, my friends see me on a regular basis and with a gradual weight loss like mine, it's not something easily noticeable. I'll admit, I've really been looking forward to seeing the people who haven't seen me in 20 pounds.

But you know what? I wasn't prepared for the questions from those who don't know about 50n50.

The hardest: "You've lost weight. What diet are you on?"

Honestly, how do you answer that without sounding snooty?

"No specific diet, I just eat right" sounds judgmental and hoity toity to me. I can't go around putting on airs. So I just say thank you and that I count everything that goes in my mouth. I need a better answer, though, because that makes it sound like something that is a pain and might discourage others from trying my method.

Still, the compliments of Texas have been wonderful. Even my 11-year-old niece, just this morning said, "You've gotten skinny!" And that fried chicken sandwich was damn good, too.

Whew.

Well, I didn't gain weight this week. Granted the last three days I've done a great job on my diet and working out, but this weekend I drank A LOT and ate food that wasn't spectacular. So the fact that I didn't actually gain anything is huge. Still the same weight. But am feeling and looking thinner.

My rib cage is showing again. Thank goodness. And my legs are getting muscular again. Praise Jesus.

Natalie and I had this big discussion yesterday about BMI and realistic expectations concerning size and weight. How women who are the same age (like Nat and I) can gain and carry weight in completely different ways and areas. And how we all need to go about weight loss and fitness in different ways.

The ideal body weight for my size was the weight I was when I started this (169) and anywhere from 40 lbs below that (129). I'd like to be around 155. That's 27 lbs from now. I think I can do it, it will just take time. I just have to be diligent. So here are some new revised goals since I haven't gained weight in two weeks:

Fitness Goals:
1. Run 3-4 days a week. Averaging around 15-20 miles a week. (That is until full training begins and I'm upwards of 30-35 miles a week.)
2. Yoga at least once a week. Class on Fridays. Try to do at least two more times on my own.
3. Start p90x today and see if I hate it and how sore I am.
4. By the end of the year run in two more half marathons and one full marathon.
5. Decrease my 5k time to around 27 minutes. (Yes, I'm slow, people...)
6. Improve my half marathon time by 15 minutes each race.

Nutrition Goals:
1. Cut out soda completely. Although I've already done this sometimes I slip and no frou-frou coffee drinks.
2. 64 oz of water a day. May increase my pee output, but that shall be good for me.
3. Take a multi-vitamin everyday.
4. Keep my caloric intake less than 1500 a day.
5. No more booze at promotions. Which means no more weekday drinking.
6. Eat vegetables at every meal. Have lean proteins at every meal.

Alright. Now I'm accountable for these things since I wrote them down for you all to read. So feel free to bust me on them. Off to do my first P90X workout. Thanks all!

Oh, and happy Cinco de Drinko!

Reflections on reflections

I have a huge picture window in my living room. Mainly, my dog uses it to survey the neighborhood - watching and waiting for anything amiss. On relaxing weekend mornings Kevin and I sit on the deck in front of the picture window and read, study or blog.

This morning, as I returned to my chair from refilling my coffee, I happened to catch my reflection in the window. I had to double take. Is that really me?

For more than 10 years I have been a size 16 (give or a take a bit) so seeing myself almost ten inches smaller in the waist, a couple of cup sizes smaller in the bust and leaner in the legs has taken some adjusting. Often, I focus on the problem areas - my huge calves, my round face, my large derriere. But sometimes, like today, I get caught off-guard and the insecurities take a moment to catch up to me. Other times, I just stare at my legs and marvel at the idea that they actually belong to me. They are so much thinner than I ever remember before!

Of course, the insecurities aren't far behind and I suddenly start thinking about how I really want to look. The tight abs, the cute, pert bust, the shapely, yet trim butt - and I wonder if I will ever be able to look as good in real life as I imagine in my dreams. But, on days like today, I'm able to focus on the progress I've made and see my body for how it really looks, not how the monsters in my mind twist things.

Lessons at the half-way mark

If someone was to join us today, what would you tell them about tricks to success?

I've thought of ten things:
1. Set attainable, realistic goals
2. Take a before picture.
3. Buy a scale.
4. Gather a team of supporters
5. Be ready to be different
6. Track your calories.
7. Eat breakfast. Every day.
8. Don't make drastic changes.
9. Drink water. Lots of water.
10. Don't use food as a reward for "good behavior."

1. Set attainable, realistic goals:

Crazy workout plans and crash diets just don't garner garner success. Most times, when you are making drastic changes in your life, it is best to make them gradually. If your goal is to be healthier, then weight loss will be a side effect of that. But when your only goal is to lose a lot of weight, you aren't making life changes that will be permanent.

Setting small-term goals along your ultimate path will yield major motivation as you go along. Maybe it's fitting into your skinny jeans or being able to wear shorts without constantly tugging down the inseam. Maybe it's being able to run a 5k or just walk a mile. It doesn't matter. When you see yourself hit each goal, you feel invincible.

2. Take a before picture.
I wish I had done this. Instead, I took my "before" after losing 20 pounds. It's hard for me to see the changes in my body and I still see "Fatalie" when I look in the mirror. I wish I had a way to spot the changes at a glance.

3. Buy a scale.
When I was scale-less for a month, I floundered, lost, with no idea how I was doing. It's important not to become obsessed with the scale, but if you are trying to lose weight, there really is no other way to track it. You have to weigh yourself! Everything I've read says to do this routinely, but not obsessively. I weigh myself once a week because my plan is to lose a pound each week.

There was a long time in my life when I argued scales were monsters. I refused to weigh myself unless I was at the doctor. For years I didn't know how much I weighed. Which means I didn't know just how overweight I truly was. The scale isn't the enemy! When treated right, a scale is your teammate and will help you stay on track.

4. Gather a team of supporters.

Whether it's a blog group like 50n50 or something like Sparkpeople, Weight Watchers, or a church group, having supporters, cheerleaders and competitors is very important. Accountability is important and a network like the Ladies in Weighting provides that. When I don't lose my pound each week, I feel like I let my girls down and I work extra hard the next week to make up for it.

5. Be ready to be different.
This has been really hard for me. I was ready to be skinny and ready to be healthy, but I honestly wasn't ready to lose weight. For one thing, my mental image of myself isn't changing as it should. That holds me back at times when motivation is hard to find.

Also, bluntly put, losing weight isn't cheap. I'm not talking about buying low fat (often a trap, so be careful!), but losing weight means your clothes don't fit and that means you have to shop for more. Sure, you can thrift-store it, but is someone else's stretched out clothes really a good guide for your new size?

6. Track your calories.
This is the thing that annoys most people - mainly because it is a drastic change to your routine. But it truly is key! They average person burns 10 times their weight in calories (their RMR). If you weigh 200 pounds, you are probably burning 2000 a day (more if you're active!). To lose one pound, you need to burn 3500 calories. In order to do this in a week without adding exercise to your day, you need to limit calorie consumption to 1500 calories. The only way to know if you are doing this is to track those calories!

Working out doesn't mean you can skip this either.Working out increases your appetite and makes you think it's ok to eat more because you "worked it off." But if you aren't tracking, how do you know you aren't eating too much more?

Also, as you lose weight, your RMR lessens. You burn fewer calories in a day. This means your daily allotment decreases as you lose weight and you need to track as you lessen what you're allowed. Of course, as this happens you need to increase your exercise, I honestly just can't stress how important it is to know what you take in and what you are burning in order to plan your meals.

7. Eat breakfast. Every day.
I actually credit breakfast as the reason I lost the first 10-15 pounds. Eating breakfast every day was the most major change I made in my life. I honestly rarely ate breakfast on weekdays. Coffee was all I had until I was ravenous at lunchtime. Basically, skipping that meal was starving my body. When I finally did feed it, my body hoarded all the calories, preparing itself for the next famine.

Nowadays, I make myself a pretty big breakfast of scrambled eggs with bacon bits and oatmeal or cereal. I average 240 calories, but am not starving at all when lunch rolls around. I don't engorge myself on bad things at lunch, and I'm generally more energized for the day.

8. Plan each meal.
Because I eat a significant breakfast and am faced with a limited budget and really bad food choices for lunch I find that packing my lunch each evening helps me plan the day. I put the foods into my calorie tracker on Sparkpeople.com and use the remaining calories form my daily budget to plan a suitable dinner. THEN, I use leftovers from that dinner for the next day's lunch (usually more than the amount I ate for dinner because lunch should actually be a more substantial meal than dinner - I know, mind-blowing - because we use the calories to finish out our day).

9. Drink water. Lots of water.
I hate water. But, I have noticed that when I consistently drink 8 glasses of water a day, I consistently lose weight. As much as it pains me to say this, drinking water is very important in all of this.

10. Don't use food as a reward for "good behavior."
Rewards are important. Just don't let them derail you! Just this week, I almost did it. I wanted a doughnut badly, so I almost let myself have one as a reward for losing 5 pounds in one week. Luckily, reason prevailed. I don't advocate depriving yourself of life's pleasures. If you want a doughnut, go get yourself a doughnut (deprivation will just make you bitter!). But make sure you put it in your calorie tracker and adjust your other meals accordingly.

Instead of using that doughnut as a reward, however, go buy a new shirt! Or get a pedicure! Buy yourself a yoga mat or something fun that will also add to your healthy habits. Sure food feels good in the moment, but that reward will only make you feel bad later - and derail the success you're celebrating. You should feel proud following a milestone, not guilty.

That girl's a 10!

I've found myself holding my jeans up from inside my pockets lately... and you know what that means!!!

I went shopping for a new size and can officially announce that I am a size 10!!!

I haven't been a size ten since middle school ... more than half my lifetime ago.

In a previous lifetime, I used to tell my boyfriend that we had to get married if I ever got down to a size 10 ... because it was my dream. Because I figured it was the best I could do. Because I wanted my wedding photos of me at my best. Because I figured my body was naturally meant to be a size 16 and anything lower than a 10 would be pushing it too much past it's natural state.

At the store today, I grabbed 5 pairs of pants and skirts in size ten, but they just looked so small that I grabbed a few size 12s, also. I first tried on a cute skirt that was all springy and lovely - and a size ten - and was just shocked when I was able to button and zip it! The next skirt fit too! But I was still nervous - there is more to being a size ten than the waist ... Gulping audibly, I grabbed a pair of Lee jeans ... and slowly stepped into them. Imagine my surprise when they slid right on!

All five 10s fit - the waist of each one felt so small in my hands that I'm still shocked! I didn't think it would be possible.

How cool is it that I moved down to a size 10 on April 10, 2010????

Weigh Days are back!

I went into today's Weigh Day with mixed feelings.

At first, I was excited because I figured I would be pretty happy with what the numbers said.

However, as the day grew near, I started panicking and watching every calorie - I wanted the first official Weigh Day in more than a month to be significant. I only ate 1000 calories yesterday because of this mentality. Knowing that was too few for my body, I allowed myself a McDonalds cone (150 calories, remember?). So, I made myself walk "the long way" to get the cone - I went a mile out of my way pretty much. The walk felt great and that was one tasty, guilt-free cone!

Anyway, I was also a bit worried to check my email this morning. Several of our Ladies have been going through a lot of life changes and weren't too excited that Weigh Day was nearing. I don't want anyone to get discouraged and quit, so I stressed a bit.

I am proud, however, of the attitude I saw this morning! Tara is re-motivated and Jennifer has a plan for the next few weeks. I will let them post their own blogs about this, but I just want them to know that I am glad they are looking at this with the right perspective. Once their lives settle down, I know they will start seeing serious results!

As for myself, this morning was very lovely. I stepped on the scale and was thrilled to see 173! That puts my total weight loss at 22 pounds in 27 weeks. Technically, I'm 5 pounds behind schedule, but I am completely thrilled with my progress!

Since it's been awhile, I decided to take measurements as well.

Today's measurements:
Waist: 33 inches (not sucking in - at the belly button)
Hips: 43.5 inches
Thigh: 24.5 inches
Calf: 16 inches (they went up last measurement, but from the beginning, there has been progress!
Upper Arm: 13 inches

Also, I was able to do 9 push ups - up from the 4 I could do in September!

I'm not sure how you measure loss in inches ... but if my guess is right, I've lost more than 25 inches!

Measurements taken 9/17/2009:
Weight: 195 lbs (sigh)
Waist: 40 inches (not sucking in)
Hips: 47.25 inches (junk in the trunk, much?)
Thigh: 28.5 inches
Calf: 17.25 inches (a real target area for me ... I HATE my killer calves!)
Upper Arm: 15.5 inches

Say no-no to yo-yo

After a brief Facebook exchange with Tara yesterday, I was trying to think of a way to motivate her and let her know that no matter what her scale says in the morning, she should be proud of herself (and you should, Tara!) just for getting up and standing on that scale.

I understand what Tara is feeling. Life happens and with it, things change - this often includes diet and waistlines. But it's how we handle that change when things settle into the new routine that matters!

This entire project started when I was called "obese" by a BMI calculator online. But it was also at a time when I was finally settling into a routine after a year of insanity.

A year before I started law school, almost to the day, Kevin moved away and I was devastated. There is no way to sugar-coat it - I lost my zeal for life. And I lost my appetite. I didn't own a scale, but all of my clothes were falling off and I went down at least one size. After a couple of months, things worked themselves out (Kevin and I figured out how to make a long distance relationship "work") and I made a wonderful friend in my neighborhood who got me out of bed every day for a morning run/walk.

Then, in January, I quit my job and moved to Kevin's neck of the country. Without a job, I was sitting at home every day, all day. It was cold outside and I didn't know anyone and I became pretty stationary. I didn't, however, notice that I gained the weight back until almost summer, when I was readying myself to start school.

My weight has yo-yoed many times throughout my adulthood - usually linked to my moods. I haven't actually gone on an official "diet" in my modern memory (Please note that my food choices now are a lifestyle change, not a "diet"), but I completely understand when the body changes without your permission!

I received a daily email from Women's Health today with a great message. Entitled "How to Stop Yo-Yo Dieting," this list of 8 tips was just what I want to pass to myself and my fellow Ladies in Weighting!

The 8 tips are so simple - and are being followed by all of us right now!

1. Be Realistic: None of us is on some crazy crash diet - we are all being sensible about our lifestyles.
2. Be Patient: Can't get much more patient than a pound a week!
3. Be Supported: DUH! That's what this is ALL ABOUT!
4. Be Analytical: These blog posts, at least for me, are all about analyzing my moods, my choices and my changes.
5. Be Vigilant: I know not everyone participates in the weekly weigh-ins, for thier own reasons, but for me they are all about maintaining my vigilance. And they will continue when I hit my goals.
6. Be Flexible: I change my foods with the season. You will see more recipes soon!
7. Be Active: Yeah, I don't think any of us can be described as lazy. Abby and her marathon, me and the 3Day, Jen and her diving, Ne and her 40-mile walk and Tara with her 5k runs. We are super women!
8. Be Optimistic: YAY, GO TEAM!!!

Check it out here.