I never really thought about what I would look like after losing 50 pounds. Ok, that's not 100% truthful, there were times over the years when I thought about looking like Gweneth Paltrow ... but that will take way more than losing 50 pounds. I think I'll have to grow at least 5 inches ...
Anyway, I never seriously thought about what I would look like after losing so much weight. I was too busy actually losing the weight to give it much thought. But as I stand upon the precipice of actually claiming that 50-pound loss, I can't help but marvel at the changes in my body shape, both the good and the not-so-different.
Before I start nit-picking, I need to say that I am very happy with the overall changes in my body. I am just surprised by the things that have taken longer to change - and the things that have changed drastically.
1. My boobs are gone - and I miss them. Honestly, I woke up one day and they had pulled an Elvis (left the building). They weren't the first to go (if one more person says "Well, they are always the first to go," I'll scream), they pulled their disappearing act this summer. I went from a 40 DDD (yes, triple D) down to a 34/36 C.
I used to dream of being a 34 C, but that old adage about being careful what you wish for is true. When I was bigger, I thought my breasts were my best feature. Boys loved them and they were the one claim to "sexy" that I had. Now that they are gone, I'm honestly having some identity issues.
2. My arms are getting into great shape. Either there was a lot of muscle hiding in my arm fat or my puny 10 pound curls each week are really paying off! I don't know much about how a woman's arms should measure using a tape measure, but it never occurred to me that losing 4.5 inches in each arm would make such a difference. It sounds like such a small number.
3. My abs are taking forever to form! Sure, I've lost 12 inches from my stomach, but there is still quite a it of work needed down there. I have at least one more inch of pure fat sitting on my abs and it drives me crazy.
I never had an overly large stomach. It was always proportionate to my body. In fact, I would go so far as to describe it as "flat-ish." I mean, it was a flat for a girl who had a 40-inch waist, if that makes sense. But it was smaller than my boobs and my butt, so I wasn't self conscious about it.
I have this silly dream of getting my bellybutton pierced as my big reward for getting healthy. I know it's silly, juvenile, immature, out of style even ... but it really means a lot to me. Growing up, belly piercings were all the rage with the pretty, skinny girls in high school. All of the cheerleaders had a little jewel peaking out from their cropped tops and I was sooooo jealous! So, for me and me alone, I plan to pierce my bellybutton. It's my way of acknowledging how far I've come.
4. What the heck, butt? I always knew I carried a lot of junk in my trunk, but I thought it would empty as my stomach got smaller. I've lost 10 inches from my butt/hips and while that's awesome and makes me very proud, I still have quite a rump going on!
I used to pride myself in my hour-glass-ish figure. Big butt, big boobs, smaller stomach - everything was proportionate. But now, it's big butt, small boobs and smaller waist. I'm bottom-heavy for the first time ever and not pleased.
Lately, I've been targeting my butt and thighs in my workouts. I call myself a "body sculptor" - but I get the feeling I'm going to need a bigger chisel to get this booty into shape.
5. Stupid calves. I've been saying it from the beginning: I hate my calves. They have always been huge and they are still huge and I hate, hate, hate them. The fact that I have lost 2.25 inches from them is good, but not good enough. I don't know what they should measure, but I am tired of shopping for boots and finding it impossible to pull them up over my gargantuan calves!
Looking at a recent "article" from a Women's Health email, "Shop your shape," I noticed my body has changed from "curvy" to "pear" or (dare I say it?) "athletic." But I'm not athletic - am I? As much grief as I just gave my booty, it's not that much bigger than my chest - at least I don't think I look like the drawing above. But I find it really difficult to describe myself as "athletic." That means a lot more has changed than just my body shape. And maybe it has ... but, I still feel like the girl I was for 26 years - the one who avoided horizontals, bright colors and corduroy. But am I still that girl? When my mind catches up to my body in changes, I'll let you know.
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Proof is in the picture
As strange as it may seem, I have had a hard time realizing that I've lost 40 pounds. Sure, I see the number on the scale each (day) week, but I honestly haven't seen it in the mirror. When people tell me I look different, I wonder to myself how that's possible. But, that all changed today - it's finally beginning to sink in!
Losing weight slowly has made it hard for me to fully grasp how different I look because I see myself everyday. Sometimes, I'll walk past a mirror and catch a glimpse of a girl who looks like a smaller version of me, but when I turn to look closer, all I see is the same face that greeted me over the sink earlier in the day when I was brushing my teeth. This surprises those who don't see me everyday - to them, the change is drastic - but it's been so gradual that it's snuck up on me.
But, it turns out that I really, truly look different.
It finally sank in this afternoon when I was getting ready for Boobs Rock - my big breast cancer awareness festival. As a joke, I "slutted" up my t-shirt by tying it tightly around my waist and rolling it up a bit. But when Kevin showed me a picture of myself I was shocked. I expected to be ashamed by my usual rolls, but - um - they weren't there.
I first passed it off as a trick of the camera angle, but when I saw other photos from Boobs Rock - and I still looked half decent - things started shifting in my mind.
So, as an experiment, I went through all of the photos I've taken over the past year and pulled one from each month into a folder. It wasn't the best experiment because there were many different angles - and I really avoid full-body photos anyway.
It was when I accidentally went from a photo taken today to one taken a year ago, however, that I finally saw what everyone has been trying to tell me. And, um, wow. Can I say that? I look A LOT different!
I'm saving the before/after photo for the finale blog in September - but I needed this realization now. I needed to see how far I've come in order to head into the last lap of this journey. The next ten pounds may not make much of a difference visually, but seeing just how much I've changed has me pretty jazzed.
Losing weight slowly has made it hard for me to fully grasp how different I look because I see myself everyday. Sometimes, I'll walk past a mirror and catch a glimpse of a girl who looks like a smaller version of me, but when I turn to look closer, all I see is the same face that greeted me over the sink earlier in the day when I was brushing my teeth. This surprises those who don't see me everyday - to them, the change is drastic - but it's been so gradual that it's snuck up on me.
But, it turns out that I really, truly look different.
It finally sank in this afternoon when I was getting ready for Boobs Rock - my big breast cancer awareness festival. As a joke, I "slutted" up my t-shirt by tying it tightly around my waist and rolling it up a bit. But when Kevin showed me a picture of myself I was shocked. I expected to be ashamed by my usual rolls, but - um - they weren't there. I first passed it off as a trick of the camera angle, but when I saw other photos from Boobs Rock - and I still looked half decent - things started shifting in my mind.
So, as an experiment, I went through all of the photos I've taken over the past year and pulled one from each month into a folder. It wasn't the best experiment because there were many different angles - and I really avoid full-body photos anyway.
It was when I accidentally went from a photo taken today to one taken a year ago, however, that I finally saw what everyone has been trying to tell me. And, um, wow. Can I say that? I look A LOT different!
I'm saving the before/after photo for the finale blog in September - but I needed this realization now. I needed to see how far I've come in order to head into the last lap of this journey. The next ten pounds may not make much of a difference visually, but seeing just how much I've changed has me pretty jazzed.
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