Friendly Reminder

Me and Kevin pre-5k Sept. 2010

I got to talking with some of the interns at work yesterday and introduced one to 50n50. She was shocked when I told her how much I used to weigh. I needed it hear it. I'm sorry to say it, but I needed the reminder of how far I've come in the past two years - how hard I worked and how much success I found. I needed to be reminded that the sacrifices involved are worth it.

Lately, I've been battling issues in my head because I still think like a fat girl. I still look in the mirror and find a million flaws in my body.

"You do?" She said to me, shocked. Yes, I do!

Basically, it comes down to this: I always assumed 150 pounds was a lot smaller than it is. I thought my legs would no longer rub together when I ran and that I'd look amazing in a bathing suit. But here I am, buying Body Glide to prevent chafing and refusing to even try on a swim suit until my thighs get under control.

If you follow me on Twitter (@50n50), then you know that I started the Couch to 5k (C25k) training program yesterday morning. It's the program I used last fall to get into shape for my first 5k and it worked really well. I mean, I actually ran a continuous 3 miles so that's a win, right? After the Race for the Cure, I trained a couple more weeks with the idea of running a 10k, but I didn't get very far. And since then? Nothing.

And that's where I screwed up. I stopped being active ... So, I'm starting over.

Now, don't go thinking I've suddenly found a piece of me that loves running - because I haven't. But the Couch to 5k program take about 30 mins a day only three times a week and I've decided I can handle doing something I don't really like for a mere 90 minutes a week. I've also been adding in some strength training for 15 minutes on my off days, courtesy of Women's Health.

For yesterday's run, I decided to change how I approach C25K. Usually, I jog it - pacing myself to make sure I have energy for the finish. But a couple of weeks ago, while jogging with Kevin I asked him to look at my form. We decided I run like a fat girl (my words, not his!).  I take shorts, clomping steps and roll my hips. I look like I'm lumbering down the road. He suggested I lengthen my stride and run like I'm free, not like I'm carrying the weight of the world.

So, that's how I ran yesterday. No jogging - all running. And I felt free for the first time in a while!!! (Well, until I felt like I was going to die, but that's why I started the program at the beginning).

Plus, I found a piece of me that loves the feeling I get after I run - the feeling of accomplishment, control, and yes, energy. Because of my morning run, I spent yesterday in a great mood.

I spent yesterday being reminded of all that I have done and all that I can do. And I needed that friendly reminder.

The new me

This past weekend I realized one of my life's dreams. I ran my first 5k Saturday - I ran that baby from start to finish.

I really don't know how to explain the total and complete joy I felt when I crossed that finish line. It was like I was running from who I used to be and I met the new me for the first time.

The new me is fit, healthy and in shape. The new me can't stop grinning and cheering. The new me wakes up every day ready for an adventure, excited to see what the day will bring. The new me is happy.

After I finished the 5k, Kevin came over to me and said "Now, you're a runner." I almost started crying. Me? The little girl with the crooked knee caps who was diagnosed with arthritis in 5 joints before she was 18 is a runner now?

But I guess it's true. I'm already looking to the next run, a 10k at the end of October. This afternoon I'm heading out on my first training run with the Bridge to 10k training regimen. It's a continuation of the Couch to 5k plan that gave me such success. I'm pushing the time frame a bit - not quite giving myself the full 6 weeks, but that's just because of when the 10k is scheduled.

Most of the work I'm training my body to do isn't physical. After walking 60 miles in three days I know I have the physical strength to run just as far. Instead, I am training my mind to accept the fact that there are no barriers to running anymore.

There has always been a reason why I couldn't run: my knees, my asthma, my weight. But not anymore. Sure, my knees are still better weather predictors than the National Weather Service, but you get used to that. My asthma hasn't been an issue since I quit smoking (go figure), so my weight was the last thing keeping me back. Now, there are simply no reasons why I can't be who I want to be.

As I ready myself for the next run, I'd like to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Natalie and I'm a runner.

My own 5k.

You girls are really inspiring me with all of this 5k talk!

My issue, however, is a bit silly.

If you were completely broke, would you take out a loan to sign up for your 5k? Everything I do is on loans. Based on my calculations, spending $25 to run a 5k will end up costing me ~$65 in interest and stuff (this is my new thought process about any money I spend in order to maintain financial fitness). So, I need a solution.

Here is my thought - I'm going to organize my own 5k!!! I'm going to set a date, invite my friends and take it from there. I know it won't go to a charity, unless others want to donate, but I am (sadly!) not in a place where I can feasibly donate to a charity right now ... OH WAIT!!! I've got it!!!

We run the 5k and make the end point a volunteer situation, that way we donate our time!!!

ABBY: Interested in this??? I know you have connections in the KC non-profit world!!! I think mid-December (after finals) will be the best time. What are your thoughts?

Bring on the 5k...

I have signed up for two 5k runs in November. Count that...1...2. They are both fundraisers for great causes. This is my first time running a 5k (that's 3.1 miles, in case you aren't a math whiz)...I've walked them before, but never ran. I think its a great motivator to get out and train. So far I've been running 3 miles at least 3 days a week. The idea that I have to do it in a big crowd with a lot of people watching will definitely keep me motivated to keep it up.