I'm back! And so is my belly

I know ... it's been awhile since I blogged. And if you can't tell by the lack of posts, you could tell by my waistline. Yikes!

So here's the not-so-skinny from the past three months. Basically, I finished law school and took the Bar exam. Written in one sentence like that it doesn't seem like much, but man was it intense! The last month of law school came with finals and the pressure to do better than ever. I'd like to say I studied my butt off, but that would only be figuratively true. Oh, I studied like crazy, but my butt didn't even almost come off. Then, when I finished my last final, I turned my attention to studying for the Bar Exam. The next two months were spent binging and cramming 3 years of law school and 15 million pounds of peanut M&Ms into my mouth.

And now it's over.

And I gained 13 pounds.

I had to buy new pants - a size up - and have lost all ab sucking-in muscles.  My muffin top is world class and if I stand just so, I look pregnant. I call it my Bar Baby. I've been joking about taking maternity pictures.

But tomorrow is a new day with a new adventure! I start a temp job in the corporate world of cubicles and fluorescent lighting. It's at the world headquarters of a really big corporation and comes with a few perks - like a gym!

For the next three months, I get to wait on my Bar exam results, work an 8-5 job and enjoy free time. There is a little college graduation ceremony in there (though I graduated in Dec. the ceremony isn't until May). You know what that means? I get to put the majority of my energy into getting back on track with my weight. I couldn't be more excited!

Goodbye, Bar Baby!

Mulling my munchies

I have a big paper to finish by morning, so I'll be pulling an all-nighter. As such, I anticipate a bout of the munchies (lessons learned from many all-nighters) to strike as soon as I get settled to work. Back in the day, I would buy a 2-pound pack of Twizzlers and Froot Loops to get me through the night. But nowadays I'm trying to stick to healthy choices - even if today is Mardi Gras!

I have a box of celery sticks and some frozen butternut squash ready to be turned into butternut fries, but knowing me, this isn't going to cut it. Is this one of those tests that come along to measure my progress? If I plan for the munchies tonight, am I just giving myself a hall pass? Is that ok to do?

There are times when it's ok to relax and eat junk. Some say Mardi Gras (today!) is one of those days - you know, since it's supposed to be followed by 40 days of sacrifice. Birthdays are considered a day to chill out on diets because special food is a way to celebrate special occasions. Also, meals at a friend's house are given a free pass, too (politeness for a night trumps diets).


Generally speaking, relaxed standards apply in unique situations that have a higher public interest than healthy eating for one night. So, the question is whether the occasional all-nighter fits into this category. Let's think it through: First, all-nighters are unique occurrences; they aren't something I do every week. Instead, they occur more like 2-3 times a semester. Plus, a good grade on this paper is more important than tomorrow's weigh in. If getting a good grade is dependent on snacks, then it's worth having snacks on hand and planning for such in my daily food allowance. Thus, all-nighters are unique situations and lowering my diet standards will serve a greater public interest.

Now that I've decided it's ok to relax my standards a bit, I must qualify this. Relaxing standards doesn't mean throwing them away. We arne't talking a night of pizza and cookies. That would be dumb. Plus, if I plan out choices that are better than Twizzles and sugary cereals, then I'm still showing progress.

So, here's what I'm thinking:

1) Eat a light dinner in order to be full so I don't snack as much. Um, yeah right. If I stopped eating when I was full this wouldn't be an issue. Duh!

2) Skip dinner knowing I will be snacking into the wee hours. Clearly, the logical choice, even if it isn't the most nutritious.

I don't keep many snacky foods in the house for obvious reasons. So, I need to hit the store for provisions. What should I get?

1) My usual fare of Twizzlers and Froot Loops. Um, and that would benefit me how? It's nothing but sugar and junk.This isn't a pass for full departure of the lessons I've learned so I should go with foods that provide some nutritious benefits, right?

2) Fruits and veggies high in fiber and low in fat. This is the ideal solution, obviously. However, the cost is a problem for me. I honestly can't afford a bunch of fruits and veggies right now. I have some will certainly what have on hand - celery, cauliflower and butternut squash, but my their very nature (lacking food crunch and, sadly, sugar, they just won't be enough.

3) "Healthy" cereal. This is tonight's winning choice, I think. If I buy a small box of Mini Wheats then I'm getting fiber, which is filling and flushing, sugar, and some actual nutrients that usually come with dinner. Maybe I can even buy a bag of oranges if they are on sale.

Having this discussion with myself now is also a sign of my personal growth. I used to go by the feelings I had at the time I hit the store. Instead, I am being pro-active and planning my allotment of snack foods and creating a strategy to handle my inevitable stress-induced munchies. It was all about satisfaction in the moment - but that moment was followed by many moments of self-loathing. Thanks to this plan, I'm hoping tomorrow finds me pleased with my decisions, happy with myself, and done with my paper!

______________

Update: 6:15 pm

I am home from getting supplies. I bought a box of dried figs (lots of fiber!), a medium box of plain shredded wheat (even more fiber!), and a 2 liter of diet coke. I think I'm good to go.

I just finished a bowl of the shredded wheat with Splenda and cinnamon - SUPER YUMMY!

And now it's time to brew coffee and get to writing!!!

Strategy for saving

These days I only have about $300 a month to spend on groceries between me and Kevin. That breaks down to about $75 a week, but often - when it's a non-pay-week, we only have about $40 to spend. Needless to say, grocery shopping takes a lot of strategy.

I'm getting pretty at it, though - I only spent $25 on groceries this week!

First, I have a list of monthly staples that I buy the first of each month. This includes things like flour, sugar, yeast, pancake mix, oatmeal, cream of wheat, pasta, beans, etc. Because it involves a lot of packaged items, this monthly trip also involves a lot of coupons. Target is great for this because they have their own coupons and they honor manufacturer's coupons. A really good deal will involve two coupons and it happens a lot!

Since March's bulk shopping was $100, that leaves me with about $40 a week for the weekly necessities. I shop every weekend because I eat so many fresh foods. I can't stand to throw food away so shopping each week is important.

Each Friday or Saturday morning, I take the week's grocery ads (I receive ads from all the nearby grocery stores in Wednesday's mail) and look for trends in sales. If chicken breasts are on sale, I take note. Same for various fruits, veggies, etc. Then, I grab my cook books and settle in for a planning session.

I write down each day and plan lunch and dinner. Often lunch involves leftovers, but not always. Obviously, this is part of my calorie planning for the day as well. If I plan a dinner that is heavier in calories (like pasta), then I know to go light for lunch that day and lighter for the next day's dinner.

I look at the weather forecast for the next week (seriously) in case the weather will likely spark a craving. If it's going to snow, I plan for chili. If it's going to be warm and pretty I plan for grilling. This is pretty important, to be honest, because if the plan isn't fun it's not worth it and you won't stick to it. Also, if I will be menstruating that week, I make sure to buy foods that will help make that less painful (fodder for a another blog soon!). I also take the contents of my pantry in it's current state into consideration.

Then, I make a grocery list based on the week's meals. Once I have my list, I search for coupons and map out which grocery store has the best deals for what I need. I'm not crazy enough (yet) to go to fifteen different stores, but I am willing to hit up two if that will mean big savings. Usually weekly shopping involves the local discount grocery store and the main store. But at the beginning of the month, Target gets added, too.

I spent two hours Friday morning planning meals for the next two weeks.  There happen to be a lot of black eyed peas in my freezer, so I decided to use those on Meatless Monday (black eyed pea chili = yum!).  Also, since Mardi Gras is this week, I planned something special for that dinner (red beans and rice!). A lot of my meals involve beans. They are a cheap protein I can buy in bulk during a larger-budget week and they last a long time.

Sure, it takes time and is a little OCD, but I have been able to cut my grocery expenses in half. I live mostly on borrowed money so the more I save now - the less I'll have to pay back later!

This time

Twizzler frown

I know I have promised everyone a "This is how I did it" recap post, but to be honest, I'm just not feeling that successful this week.

Basically, the day I made my Big Announcement was the day before a 20-page paper was due. And I lost my mind. Seriously. I ate about 2800 calories that day - 1000 in Twizzlers, 400 in cereal ... I think there was some candy corn ad popcorn in there plus the usual meals. All of the junk was consumed after 8 p.m., by the way. Hardly part of the healthy lifestyle I've been advocating and credit as the reason I've lost the weight.

The next day, Thursday, I focused on eating only natural foods and a little detox and consumed 950 calories (and went to bed stuffed!).

Um, then, I went to a friend's house Friday for studying and much-needed girl time. Dare I mention the oatmeal chocolate cookies and bottle of wine we consumed? At least lunch and dinner both consisted of steamed vegetables and a smidgen of steamed meat (shrimp at lunch, pork at dinner - healthy choices from Chinese restaurants and fodder for a future blog).

I've managed to rein myself in since Friday, but am still pretty angry with my behavior. After all of this, I should know better!

So, as I sit here entering today's foods in my Sparkpeople.com calorie counter, I'm going to remind myself - once again - of the importance of planning your foods ahead. Remember these entries? Study Time Means Strategy Time and Just in Time? Why wasn't I prepared for this? I knew the paper was due last week and I knew it would mean late nights that would invite the munchies. Late nights have always invited my munchies! And why did I give in - literally getting in my car and going to the store JUST FOR TWIZZLERS - and let myself revert back to such an old, horrible habit? It would have been better to get an ice cream cone! At least ice cream has calcium and protein.

Sigh.

I am usually such a good planner! My life is nothing but a bunch of little plans. I plan meals for each week, I plan calories and nutrient allocations for each day (it sounds hardcore, but truly only takes a few minutes each day), I plan study time, boyfriend time, and dog time. I plan my finances. I plan dream vacations and dream weddings. Trust me, planning isn't the problem!

I let down my guard. I told myself it would be ok "this time" because I could make up for it later. I bartered with myself and got the losing end of the deal. And that's why I was 50 pounds overweight! Because "this time" is never a one time thing.

Making it right with date night

I know you're wondering how well I abstained yesterday - and I give myself a B-.

By midnight, when I still wasn't half finished but beginning to doze, I hit up a serving of hot tamales - purely to keep me awake! I read somewhere that for long road trips and stuff cinnamon candy is good to keep you from dozing.

Overall, my daily intake was:
1,472 calories 246 carbs 19 fat 72 protein

It would have been a lot worse had I not stopped myself in the early afternoon. I know me. I would have probably eaten then entire box of candy by the time I finished my paper!

Generally, I eat 1300 calories or less. On Friday and Saturday, however, I allow myself 1500. Not tonight! Since I "splurged" yesterday, I am not giving myself and extras today.

I know what you're thinking: Isn't Friday date night? Yes, however, the new house is near a couple of places dedicated to healthy eating. If I can convince Kevin to go to one of those for dinner, and keep my meal under 600 calories then I will be fine.

If I can't convince Kevin to try a healthy place, I recently found out that he loves Boston Market. So, I just gave their website a visit and checked out the nutritional information. They have several options that are beneath 550 calories!

I'm thinking beef brisket, steamed veggies and fresh fruit salad ... that's only 400 calories! I could also add green beans for another 60 calories! And here I thought I wouldn't be able to have a beer. Pshaw!